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No, Slayer Is Not Protesting Fred Phelps’ Funeral

Don’t believe everything you read on the internet, kids.

When news broke that human enema Fred Phelps died a very untragic death this week, a rumor started circulating that Slayer would be protesting his funeral. This would-be rivalry stems back to last year when Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church Scam Society announced they would be protesting the funeral of dead Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman.

Gullible metal heads and the bandwagon of people looking to dump on Phelps started sharing links to unreliable sources saying that the members of Slayer were camped outside the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, with no photographic evidence or quotes or basically anything that would lend a shred of legitimacy to the claim. Well surprise surprise, apparently not everything you read on SomeJackoff’ is factually accurate. We checked with a Slayer representative who denied the rumor and said this:

“Anyone who knows anything about Slayer would know that this was a send up.”

And there you have it. Hoax debunked. Lessons learned here:
1. Don’t share everything you read on the internet. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. (And no, today is not the day Marty McFly travelled to the future either.)
2. Just ignore Fred Phelps and his insignificant death. Let him sink to the bottom of a pit of irrelevancy like the drug-addicted, “fag”-hating, scam artist he was. Fuck him and hail Slayer.