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A Ranking of the Best Illuminati Conspiracy Videos Surrounding Katy Perry's Superbowl Performance

There's levels to just how crazy the internet can get, and combining a pop star with a major cultural event helps you reach the highest level.
February 3, 2015, 5:45pm

If you're a normal person, then you probably didn't know there's a massive online community that believes Katy Perry is a leading figure in the Illuminati's agenda to determine the course of history, control world leaders, manipulate the economy, and promote Satanism. But there definitely is such a community, and they have been raging for years as Perry has allegedly brandished one satanic and/or Illuminati symbol after another in her lyrics and music videos. For millions of people, she is a brainwashed puppet of the elite who sold her soul to the devil and is now being used to control the minds of the masses.

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We don't mean people think she metaphorically "sold her soul to the devil," in the way that people say you "sold your soul" by getting a job in investment banking, but actually gave her soul to the devil in return for a successful music career because she said it once in an interview.

Since then, these groups have been very busy pointing out Iluminati symbols in her work, especially digging into her Egyptian-themed “Dark Horse” music video and the allegedly pagan “Roar,” which feature things like the all-seeing eye, pyramids, demons, and enchanted stones. This is another addition to Perry’s storied past of corrupting the youth to bend to her agenda, like that time she convinced the population of the United States of America to exclusively buy Cherry Chapstick, which everyone knows as Satan’s preferred flavour of Chapstick.

So when it was announced she would play the Super Bowl XLIX halftime show, all of these groups were on high alert for Illuminati symbolism, and you'd better believe they found it. Within minutes, YouTube was full of videos dissecting the performance, and the six below may be the best ones.

1. Mark Dice of TheResistence

More than anyone else, Mark Dice really knows how to “sell it.” Unsurprisingly, the LA Times ran a legitimate article on his Illuminati conspiracies in the lead up to the Super Bowl. His smug confidence and endless condescension is enough to turn any Katy Perry-bashing phrase into candy for the ears. With all the finger wagging of a southern preacher, he tells us how Katy Perry’s show was a billboard for bisexuality, and how she rode in on the back of a beast like the Whore of Babylon.

What really kicks this is when he gets to talking about Missy Elliott, "the lesbian rapper," and the song “Work It”, with lyrics about "putting her vagina onto people's big penises,” which is definitely something lesbians love to do.

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He also drops these really poetic phrases, like when he says the whole performance tried “to make this absolute digital demon, this dark horse despicable deranged dirtbag dimwitted dung appear to be child friendly as her and her lesbian rapper friend, the succubus sausage grinding sewage, the smelling servants of Satan, these political prostitutes, poisoning the pea brain public, were viewed by close to 100 million people!"

2. Alien Contactee Lionel Anderson

This guy scares us. He shouts and carries a large stick. We're kind of afraid to make fun of him because we're worried he'll hurt us. Oh wait! We just checked the "about me" page on his YouTube channel and it has this this disclaimer: "PLEASE NOTE MY VIDEO ARE SATIRE COMEDY MIXED WITH THE THE TRUTH [sic]."

Pfew! Totally normal dude then.

One of the best things about Anderson is that he's the only person to call Katy Perry's halftime show "reptilian," which is apparently an interchangeable word with "Satanic." It was her "reptilian ritual" for the "reptilian dark lords" who control the world behind the scenes, and she had sold her soul to these reptilian dark lords in order to get famous.

But Anderson really starts blowing our minds from 1:34 onward when he explains the significance of the chess board floor that showed up during "Dark Horse." Chess boards are apparently a crucial masonic symbol and as Perry and her fellow performers danced on one, they represented the way that the global elites play with us like pawns in their game.

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Then he gets into the finale, when Perry flew away on a star, which was supposed to present her as a goddess and instill in viewers the belief that hierarchy is important and the elites "have purer blood than us" and should be worshipped. If this interests you, Anderson has an organization called the New World Order Freedom Fighters who he started "to expose it all - Iluminati extra terrestrials, UFOs, government corruption." You can join here, on Facebook.

3. Jared Haruyama of Puritan Pictures

This one gets major points for the menacing background music and the deranged preacher-like tone that Jared Haruyama takes throughout, complete with well-prepared bible quotes—the freaky kind, with beasts and blood and dragons. He also cuts together pictures of Perry's show with scary things like snakes and drawings of demons. It's like the creepiest PowerPoint presentation ever.

The whole thing is pretty slick, and honestly, that's what keeps it from being the best. He clearly has his Illuminati/bible spiel down and is throwing Perry in there because she's the flavour of the week.

Problems aside, the montage from 6:00 onward consisting of pictures of Perry looking like her friendly self set against Haruyama calling her the spawn of Satan and urging us to “flee from the wrath to come from Babylon the great” while scary music blasts in the background is absolutely golden, and the kind of thing weird YouTube videos were made for.

4. White Rabbit

This guy has the coolest logo by far, because it copies The Matrix! He also sounds super friendly. If we're letting anyone from the truther community meet our mom, it's White Rabbit. I mean, how can you not trust a guy who explains the dynamics behind a “luciferian establishment that operates much like a mafia gang” in such an even-keeled way?

He's the only one to take things to another level and talk about some of the commercials that aired before Perry's performance, focusing especially on the one about Scientology. You'd think he would take the easy way out and talk about how Scientology actually is the most screwed up thing ever, but he goes further and connects the commercial to the Illuminati all-seeing eye and immortality, which will come up again in Perry's show.

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Then he hammers it home by talking about the Pepsi commercial where aliens beam up a Pepsi truck and Katy Perry's blue wig, claiming this is all getting us ready for the "alien deception," which the Illuminati will push on us to usher in the New World Order - and is reflected again in the halftime show when Perry flies away on that star at the end.

"Aliens aren't real, people,” he tells us. “They are fallen angels and demonic spirits. Along with a few other things. But they are not extra terrestrials from another world, ok? Look it up."

5. Vigilant Christian Mario

More so than anyone else, Vigilant Christian Mario really seems to know his stuff. Right away he starts naming cults and rituals and esoteric symbols, backed with references to screen shots of webpages with a lot of writing on them.

At 5:10, he also shows that he knows a whole lot of stuff about Tiger eyes, explaining that "Eye of the Tiger" is a reference to a certain kind of stone used for self empowerment and that Perry is preaching a gospel of salvation by using this stone's powers. It's all really interesting and nuanced, and we're certain Vigilant Christian Mario could be a very successful professor in a world where any of this was true.

6. Pete Santili and Susanna Cole of GMN Telemedia

This is the only video to offer live commentary on Perry’s show as it actually unfolds. What’s extra great about it is the narrators only recently got into Illuminati truthing so they really have no idea what they’re talking about. Honestly, anyone who has made it this far in this article probably knows enough to point out the same stuff they do.

Insightful commentary:

2:35: “Now watch for the symbolism, we're gonna call it out as it comes.”
(silence)
(more silence)
3:05: “The eye! The all-seeing eye!”
3:20: “What's up with the horny dudes? Oh, these are chess players.”
7:00: “Isn't it interesting how she did the exact opposite of what we predicted?”
11:08: “The friggin eye again!”
14:04: “Alright, so, definitely the all seeing eye was always there.”
14:30: “I can't wait to hear and see the you tubes that come out and break this down.”

Well then, this list is for you guys. Enjoy!

At least this little Internet exploration has forced us to look more closely at the world around us and ask questions that others are afraid to ask. Questions like: Can all of this just be explained by Katy Perry's casual interest in Egyptian shit that seems entirely aesthetic and lacking any deeper meaning?

Greg Bouchard has his soul on layaway - @GregoryBouchard