Marshawn Lynch Speaks Out During Important Skittles Press Conference

Notorious for avoiding reporters, Marshawn Lynch finally speaks out in an exclusive press conference with Skittles to discuss football's most important issues. Who would have ever thought that the same delicious candy that fuels the Seahawks' running back to the end zone could also motivate him to do what he was fined $100,000 by the NFL for not doing. But really, who gives a shit if Lynch didn't answer questions about DeflateGate or his latest $20,000 fine for showing off deez nuts at the NFC Championship game? Instead, Skittles' team of talented reporters were able to break down the walls of Marshawn Lynch and ask the questions those before them feared to. How else would we ever know that Lynch "wouldn't want to hang out with anybody that talks, at all" or that he prefers to watch cat videos on the internet? These are important things we needed to know. The greatest takeaway from what can only be described as the most insightful press conference of Lynch's career was understanding the true feeling of Beast Mode: "You don't feel in Beast Mode… it feels you."

Of course, Lynch does make some pretty bold accusations on the harboring of Skittles by referees and challenges Bill Belichick's science knowledge by concluding football is much easier to play on the moon, but overall, we learned a lot about Marshawn Lynch as a person and for that, I join him in thanking Skittles for "making the game day more awesomer."

Also, I too believe Skittles should be handed out to everyone who does awesome at their jobs. *looks at Editor-In-Chief*