Russell Chubb's Celebrity Mind Raid - Prince William, Duke of Cambridge

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We fought them in the fields of Flanders, we fought them on the beaches of Dunkirk, we fought them in the skies over Dover, we fought them in the sands of Egypt, we fought them in the jungles of Malaya – and this week, we fought our most iniquitous foe yet, in the FIFA headquarters in Zurich. And we won. Score! The FIFA bureaucrats have succumbed to the might of England. A victory for our fallen soldiers and a victory for football – the beloved game that I hold so close to my heart. On Saturday against the Spanish, England's brave footballers, our brothers in armbands – poppy-adorned armbands, following my intervention – will, I have no doubt, give their all to honour the heroes who gave their lives for my family. But I also call on the loyal football fans at Wembley on Saturday to go beyond the measly minute of silence before the match, and stay silent for the full 80 minutes as a truly fitting act of remembrance.

As a further mark of respect, I implore the umpire and line judges to perform their duties in full military regalia – complete with tin helmet and Lee-Enfield bolt-action rifle. I will gladly transport them in my RAF helicopter so they can parachute into Wembley. I think that would be a marvellous tribute to those brave troops who descended from the clouds in Arnhem in 1944. I've always had a special affinity with football and found the infamous "banter" in the communal baths after a hard-fought slog on the pitch at Eton akin to the camaraderie on the front line – which I have, of course, also experienced.

My boyhood hero was Graham Le Saux: a pauper who battled his way out of the slums using his talent alone. He is an inspiration to us all. It is a true shame he never managed to reach the level required to play for my beloved team, Aston Villa (come on the Villains!). We will have plenty of representation in Saturday's match (kick a goal for granny Liz, Heskey!) but if I were granted one wish it would be that Fabio permitted Shay Given a chance between the sticks. And, as president of the Football Association, I see no reason why my opinion should not be heeded. Before the battle on Saturday, the rousing words of England footballing hero Kenny Keegan will be ringing in my ears: "I will love it if we beat them." Regardless of the result, I have no doubt the 15 players – 15 English lions – will give their all for their country, as they always do. Hit 'em for six, lads! Let's sink the Spanish Armada! Hip-hip! Hurrah!