From the Twitter account of heroic whistleblower Dee Gordon comes some very troubling news, indeed. As you can see, this is Giancarlo Stanton eating a Kit Kat bar like a goddamned savage and WITH NO REMORSE. As Dee Gordon alludes to, we are a society based on rules. We need these rules because there are some people [staring daggers through Giancarlo Stanton's whole face] who do not conduct themselves with even a shred of decency and toss aside various social contracts like they are cheap foil wrappers.We've developed these rules over the entirety of human existence to keep from devolving into anarchical madness. This is why, for instance, a bush caught fire and told Moses to tell us not to kill each other, sleep with each other's spouses, and so on. It's why we had to write in the Constitution that, no, actually, you can't just house your soldiers in my home because you say so, you psychopathic war monger. And you bet your ass it's why you can't just chomp down on a Kit Kat bar with no regard for the clearly delineated individual fingers of the bar. And it's definitely why you don't smile at the camera while doing so, like an unrepentant monster. Who does that?! A sociopath, that's who.Rob Manfred, you know what to do.@Giancarlo818 you need to start respecting the rules sir. pic.twitter.com/IvkUAphhJv
— Dee Gordon (@FlashGJr) June 1, 2015