
Advertisement
Advertisement
In this 1979 version of 1998, the world has run out of oil, Americans live in their abandoned cars, and John Ritter is president. The United States is broke. Unless the treasury can come up with $400 million, a Native American billionaire will foreclose on the entire country. In desperation, the president holds a massive telethon, hosted by Harvey Korman. It's a recession-driven 70s fantasy (jogging suits are in vogue) addressing timeless themes of scarcity and perseverance. Yet this film stands alone, the sole title in any video store's Financial Armageddon section.It's a deeply nutty film. The president lives in a run-down SoCal condo and lusts after a Vietnamese new-wave pop star. The telethon intersects with a crazy ensemble of Carter-era talent: Meatloaf, Fred Willard, and Peter Riegert, fresh from Animal House. Dorothy Stratten, Elvis Costello, and Jay Leno have cameos. George Carlin narrates. Plus, the soundtrack is by the Beach Boys and Eddie Money.That the movie failed to win cult status is one of those unsolvable mysteries of mass taste. Maybe the public viewed Ritter (then only two years into Three's Company) as too kitschy. Certainly director Neal Israel isn't remembered for his filmic oeuvre. If he can take credit for Bachelor Party, he must also accept blame for The Brady Bunch in the White House. He currently directs Disney's Dog With A Blog. Besides the words I'm writing right now, Americathon hasn't really made a dent on American culture.Why hasn't anyone remade Americathon? The very economics of Hollywood risk aversion—the same managerial cowardice that recently re-reintroduced us to Oz, the Smurfs, and the Lone Ranger—would seem to make the math irresistible. It's just sitting in the Warner Brothers vaults.Hey, Weinsteins! Don't like the goofy tone of the 1979 version? Fine: Dark Knight that shit. Americathon: The Brokening. I'm talking about full-frontal fiscal collapse, people huddled under their upside down aboveground swimming pools, using the last of their cash for toilet paper and boiling leather wallets for soup. How about The Road as a road comedy? Maybe the Rock could drop 200 pounds and finally snatch up that elusive Oscar?Seriously, Hollywood: get on it. Consumer confidence is up, and jobless benefit claims are down. Americathon: The Bettering just doesn't have the same ring to it.
