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Sports

USMNT Roster Includes DaMarcus Beasley and Tim Howard as a Backup Goalie

Making things Worser.

Jurgen, Jurgen, Jurgen.

We've grown so accustomed to you recklessly changing things to make them worse, that we're surprised when you leave things the same to make them worse. At least we know your game plan: make things worse.

After an absolutely abhorrent Gold Cup, in which the USMNT eked out two of the ugliest wins you've ever seen, two draws with Panama, an expected blowout of a Cuban team depleted after four players defected, and a forehead-slapping loss to Jamaica—all resulting in an abnormally low fourth-place finish—Jurgen would finally have been justified in playing his usual bat-shit mix of college and NASL players.

Instead, we're witnessing the return of both leave-of-absence Tim Howard and nearly retired, poorly performing DaMarcus Beasley in an important lead-up to a playoff for placement in the Confederations Cup in Russia.

And Howard isn't even starting.

He knew it was not going to be easy to come back because obviously Brad Guzan established himself as the number one and played a very good tournament and the whole year he really did a good job. Tim has accepted for the time being to be the number two, and then down the road there will be a fight for the number one spot like in every position. - Herr Jurgen

Sure, that's fine, I guess, but it doesn't bode well for USMNT getting some much-needed new blood (or more-skilled old blood). Meanwhile, Mexico is already ordering caviar and vodka for 2017.