The Golden State Warriors dismantled the Cleveland Cavaliers 110-77 last night to take a 2-0 series lead into Cleveland. It was so lopsided that Steph Curry played only 25 minutes and scored 18 points. If you follow the NBA's Instagram account, you knew this is how it was going to play out though, not because the Warriors are a freak of basketball nature, but because how does a team lose when its best player is singing and dancing to "Jones' Barbecue and Foot Massage" with the Oracle Arena security guards an hour before the game? The answer is it doesn't lose. Golden State wins, and we win.
If you're unfamiliar, that's a real song created by a stand-up comedian for a fictional restaurant called "Jones' Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage." At Jones' Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage, you can get virtually anything you want fried. "We got fine dinosaur meat…come on down and get you a slice." You can bring in your own food and they will fry it for you. For $5.99 you can bring anything in and "if it fit through the door, I'll fry it for you." And while you wait for your food—or maybe if you're just not all that hungry, but you've had a long day—you can get a foot massage, your choice of barbecue sauce/massage oil.
The commercial's opening sequence became a popular Vine meme and it shows the proprietor of Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage singing and dancing to the same song Curry and the security guards were just before tipoff. Cleveland never stood a chance.