It's summertime, which means everyone wants to be in a cool dark place watching famous people pretend to do very dangerous things. Unfortunately blockbusters, especially the summer variety, tend not to be very good. They also cost a lot of money. Luckily there is MoviePass, a gift to everyone who wants to see a movie without spending their life's savings or having to sneak between screenings.
MoviePass frees you from the fear that you'll waste the price of a ticket on seeing a bad movie. This lets you see two kinds of film this summer you might have avoided—indulgent blockbusters that will wind up being garbage, and unhyped indies that you'll ignore because you don't know enough about them. Luckily, there's still time before Moviepass's inevitable demise for you to see all the movies regardless of quality.
Here's a list of movies you'll end up seeing by default this summer:
Ten thousand billboards can't be wrong.
This has all the makings of the next summer indie-darling hit— it's a middle school coming-of-age tale from A24 and also the filmmaking debut for comedian Bo Burnham. Think Lady Bird, Boyhood, or Juno, but centered around a girl in middle school. This one is probably worth the price of admission, but if it’s Moviepass that gets you in the door, so be it.
Don't Worry, He Won't Go Far on Foot
Joaquin Phoenix, Rooney Mara, Jack Black, and Jonah Hill. It doesn't really matter what this movie is about since it's free—with this cast, you're going to watch it.
This movie has a bunch of guns in it and Michael Shannon plays a sad rodeo clown. At best, it'll be the next Hell or High Water, at worst—well, Michael Shannon plays a sad rodeo clown.
The Equalizer 2
Finally we get to see Denzel Washington play a badass.
Duck Duck Goose
If you’re going to watch an animated film this summer, aim for Pixar’s masterpiece Incredibles 2. If you have a kid you need to entertain for a couple hours, try the third installation in the surprisingly charming Hotel Transylvania series. If you want something that'll make you cry, try Christopher Robin in August. Duck Duck Goose will be… fine, probably. It's about a rude goose.
Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again!
Every time I see one of those promos, I wonder what Meryl Streep is doing there. This is not to dunk on ABBA or the original Mamma Mia musical, both of which are great, but the appeal of the first film was to watch famous people do karaoke, and the appeal of this sequel is… I got nothing. Just don't pay for it.
What if aliens invaded Earth but it was Australia? Pretty crazy.
This one stars Analeigh Tipton, who you might remember as the America's Next Top Model finalist turned supporting actress in Crazy Stupid Love, Warm Bodies, and Lucy. According to the logline, this film is about "an ambitious actress resorts to extreme measures to ensure she'll be famous forever." So maybe it will be like I, Tonya but for acting? Unclear. MoviePass!
This Sundance documentary follows the pathologies of the dirty rich. Worth a free hate watch.
Mission Impossible: Fallout
Every two years the people behind this franchise make the same movie about Tom Cruise dangling off a tall building and all Americans are required to watch it.
Among other limited releases set to have pretty solid viewership— The Row, about sorority hazing, and Hot Summer Nights, where Timothée Chalamet is a beautiful boy— Puzzle feels like it will have a more niche audience. It's about a suburban woman who is very good at puzzles and sneaks off to a convention to enter a competition, and then has a mid-life crisis which gets told through the metaphor of puzzle assembling. Variety likes it. Why not check it out?
The Spy Who Dumped Me
Kate McKinnon and Mila Kunis play women who are roped into espionage. Looks like a solid buddy comedy.
The Darkest Minds
Meet the newest interchangeable YA dystopia film franchise. At least this one stars Amandla Stenberg.
Never Goin' Back
A smaller film from A24 about two girls who leave their diner jobs and head to Galveston, Texas, before running into money trouble. You know it'll be pretty country because it's "Goin'" not "Going."
BlacKkKlansman will get all the attention this weekend, but after you see that Spike Lee joint maybe you'll also want to see this movie about a big shark.
This is like a Netflix movie but in theaters. Perfect for people who want to see dogs.
Hope Springs Eternal
A coming-of-age indie dramedy about a teen who becomes popular when she is diagnosed with cancer, so she lies when it goes into remission. The quintessential, "Oh hey that was pretty good actually" MoviePass movie.
This sci-fi gothic horror flick was described by the Verge as a cross between Hitchcock's Rebecca and the classic tale of Bluebeard.
If you want to watch an action movie starring someone objectively worse than Denzel or Tom Cruise, check out this Mark Wahlberg film.
The Happytime Murders
A detective buddy drama starring Melissa McCarthy and… a muppet. Slated to be much more vulgar than anyone anticipated, and also not very good? But you have to see it to figure that out for yourself, right?
Support the Girls
A story about an exhausted shift manager at a Hooters-type breastaurant in suburban Texas. It seems both potentially exhausting and hopefully feminist, especially for anyone with boobs who has worked in the service industry.
About a widow who opens a bookshop. Perfect for fans of bookshops. Probably.
Watching Rose Byrne and Ethan Hawke flirt for a while is cool, I guess.
A limited-release horror movie that takes place in—you guessed it—a boarding school. Perfect for fans of boarding schools.
Perfect for fans of reprisals.
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.
Follow Nicole Clark on Twitter.