A Checklist for 2012

A lot of folks think there is something very special they need to do before the big 2012 new year. Like as if all of a sudden, magically, through no responsibility of their own, they will be different people who will react in a more conscious, enlightened manner.  Well, I'm sorry to say, that comes only through hard work every day, NOT JUST right around the turn of a new year. Especially this one. To prepare for 2012, we can do many of the same things we should do every new year, and really every month, and for that matter, every morning when we wake up, if we want to be reeeeally gnarly about it. Here's your instructions:

Leave 2011 behind.
a. Shred it.
b. Burn it.
c. Donkey kick it.

There’s lots of reasons witches love brooms so much.  One of the most unknown to Christians is that of cleanliness (which, as we know, is so close to godliness). Witches like to sweep out old shit.

The symbolism and drive behind many, many rituals is to signify the passing of the old time and reign in the new. The sweep of the hearth is to make way in the ashes for the new phoenix to rise. To best prepare for 2012, sweep away your old ashes, lest they smolder any new flame that may flare.

Prepare by sacrifice.  Let things go.
To mark any new time, the ancients would make a sacrifice: fruit, vegetables, goats, cattle, or simply giving something away meant you would get more.

This is hexagram 41 in the I Ching, called “diminishing to augment.”  It seems weird that you would have to make something smaller to make it bigger, but how can you get new clothes if your closet is all full?

So: Clean out your closet.
Make a big stack to take to Goodwill.
If you haven’t used it in two years, chuck it.

Downsize. How much stuff do you need? Don’t forget Bladerunner, your Kibble will eat you. How many forks are in your drawer? If you are a bachelor and have like eight forks, you are making me sad. Does Donald Trump really need a solid gold sink in his plane?  Don’t be an asshole dude, give it away. Give shit to Africa, or take some clothes to that bum down the street. We need to share if we are gonna make it after all.

Keep your past fuckups on point.
In all the dumping, keep your dirty laundry. No one wants that, and you need to sit down with yourself for a bit and review your mistakes. Leave a remnant of the ashes, for that is the seed from which the phoenix bursts forth; it takes but one ember to start a forest fire. Pick carefully which lump of coal you will choose to ignite you into the new time heading our way--there might just be a diamond in it.

Take a gnarly intentional bath.
The ritual bath and baptism goes back well beyond the time of Christ and it's ALWAYS a good idea to take a good sea salt bath as times shift. The symbolic ritual action of cleansing your own body to rid yourself of accumulated filth reverberates throughout your life.  So grab your loofah and head to Trader Joe's to snag some sea salt.

Finish it off with some fire. Light a candle and say a little prayer for all the things you are thankful for that have happened in the last year. And when you blow it out shed a tear for all that have suffered or been lost through it.

After all, if 2012 is the apocalypse, don’t you want to have on a clean pair of underwear?

Previously - A Day of Elevens