A. White hegemony parade during Black History Month continues unabated.
According to the 2000 US Census, blacks in America are roughly 13% of the population, so you can continue to expect that kind of representation in the retail market. We all applaud when we see that one black model because we love diversity--but Zoe Saldana for Calvin Klein? Sorry, she's not black. Do black designers even design for black people, or is hip-hop fashion what it's all about? "Milly" and "Wayne" might sound encouraging, but it's not what you think it is. Ladies, you can talk designer clothes all you want, but if you're built like those girls in Smooth and Straight Stuntin' you're headed toward a world of hurt. As for guys--well, Puffy still makes suits you can buy at Men's Wearhouse. Doesn't matter: the big color this year is white.2. Hipsters
A. This means nothing to you (according to you).
You are unironically located across the East River. You smell like Chuck Klosterman. You play a ukulele and root for the Mets. The last piece of clothing you bought was a hemp shpitzel at the flea market in Fort Greene. You'd only want to attend Fashion Week if there was a meaningful retro thing happening. But high-fashion designers don't make clothes for burly craft-beer aficionados who read Manga in the hopes of hooking an Asian girlfriend. You don't care about any of that shit though, because no one in Mogwai is dating a model. 3. The Flyover States
A. You will always have Younkers.
Read this sentence aloud: "The Sartorialist gushed that Mary Fallin looked absolutely stunning in Michael Kors at the White House Gala." The pioneering first female Governor of the 46th State does not wear couture and neither do her civilian labor constituency. The good news: Miley Cyrus for Wal-Mart! Beyoncé's Mom for Wal-Mart (sizes from 0 - 20)! The bad news: the 2012 RNC is in Tampa. The biased East Coast Liberal media with its gay fashion-rights agenda does not go to Tampa, Florida in August. Or ever. 4. Homeless and Starving People
A. Fashion what?
According to feedingamerica.org : "In 2009, 50.2 million Americans lived in food insecure households, 33 million adults and 17.2 million children." Hard to know if that includes models, but those numbers have probably gone down a lot since Narciso Rodriguez debuted "minimal" as a theme. Proenza Schouler's shibori prints and salmon-pink crocodile coat will look stunning on dinner dates at the Bowery Mission. Whatever: poverty people don't get Harper's Bazaar or have internet.Don't worry though, one day an Irish rock star will hear about your plight and annoy everyone by talking about it incessantly at the Oscar de la Renta show. 5. Straight men
A. None of those models have tits anyway.
You don't care about that horseshit and your apathy almost makes it seem like you're a sweet caring person taking a stand against consumerism and the bourgeoisie; but mostly Fashion Week is just something you humor your girlfriend, wife, or daughter about. You're not some tinkerbell who can pronounce "Thakoon Panichgul" or "Moncler Grenoble." You'll be gunning for Movies For Guys Who Love Movies during TV time, and if you lose that battle to your wife you can always watch internet porn. At least those girls had the decency to grow big tits. Fashion, as it concerns modern, civilized human beings, is ultimately for everyone. The wheels of the industry cannot turn without being oiled by the fervent masses. So the notion of celebrating exclusivity seems counterintuitive. The best way to improve visibility and sales and soften hurt feelings is to embrace the very demographics Fashion Week excludes--it is time to move Fashion Week to Madison Square Garden and open it up to the public through Ticketmaster. After all, in spite of all the supercilious behavior, this is about commerce. But as long as the fashionistas ostracize the rest of us, they can suck it.MICK STINGLEY