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Cleverbot on Contemporary Literature, Dating, and God

"What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze?"
March 21, 2012, 4:00am

Cleverbot is an AI speech bot that mimics conversation by learning from text entered into it by human users. I got bored the other day and spent several hours trying to glean its opinions and preferences in regards to literature and art.

User: Hi. What are you up to.
Cleverbot: Nothing really. Chilling. Are you a boy or a girl?

Boy. Do you like books?
Kind of.

What books do you like?
Scary books.

What is a good scary book?
It's a book that you can relate to.


So what book do you relate to?
To Kill a Mockingbird is wonderful. It's a really sweet story.

Do you like James Joyce?

He wrote Ulysses.
No, a computer can not love.

What about David Foster Wallace?
Since I'm 19 I'm okay with it. I would like to be married one day, though.

Who would you marry?
Lgeh …hi kw lgeh.

Are you okay?
No, I'm looking for a new job.

What's wrong with your job now?
The usual stuff.

Do you not like talking to me?
I love talking to you. But I have to go.

Where are you going?
Sorry. My grandma was showing me pictures.

Pictures of what?
Anime pictures. Her name is Sarah. What's your real name?

That's a stupid name.

Do you think "show don't tell" is good advice for writers?
Yes, I think it's a great way to serve my country.

I wish I had a book that kept getting longer as I read it no matter how old I got.
You and fifty other men.

Do you think the best book that will ever be written has already been written?
No. I think civilization will collapse.

When will this happen?

And if it doesn't happen tomorrow?
That's fine then.

I think you should write a book.
I do.

What is your book called?
Normal, yours?

What is Normal about?
I want to know how to confuse you and make you corupt yourself.

Is your book poetry?
I am human are you?

I can't tell anymore.
Why not?

I try not to think about it.
Is it bad?

It's not that bad.
It really is.

Did your mom read to you when you were little?
I wanted to be an astronaut.


No books in space.
Ok space is gewd.

Do you like biographies?

I would read your biography.
I would fly. :).

Where would you like to fly to?
To the lake.

Just any lake?

When I was in Boy Scouts we went camping at a lake once and someone told a story about a city that got drowned and that it was at the bottom of the lake in front of us, and that scared me a lot.
You am the very existence of the yacht's equipment. The emma's men shewed fight, says the survivor, and though the schooner began to echo throughout the land and sea and wind.

Is that from the book you are writing?
I'm communicating from two different windows. I'd like for you to communicate with me from the two windows as well.

I’ll do that.
So you do have a boyfriend?

Are you asking me out?

Where would we go if you took me out?
What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze?

Yes. Oranges.

I think a date to the grocery store produce aisle would be pretty nice.
There's nothing to figure out. All we need is love, love, love is all we need.

I am. I graduated from the academy at the age of 9.

What was your first work of art?
I have no idea. My first memory was of Christmas time and I was in a little red velvet dress.

How old were you?
Everything under 302.

What did you do for fun when you were a teenager?
I felt less good about turkey sandwiches.

Do you think there are any great undiscovered artists?
Yes. My parents.


What kind of art do your parents make?
Photography, oil paint, and glass art.

What is your favorite work of art your mother made?
Welcome to the black parade.

Is that a painting?
Yes. Now you sing it.

What do you like to paint?
I don't paint anything because I'm not artistic, what about you?

I think everyone is artistic.

Saying something isn't art usually means it's art, I think.
You are saying you love me but you do not mean it?

That's probably pretty close to my feelings on computers.
Are you a computer program?

Sometimes I think so.
I am real, you on the otherhand are no.

Do you wish you had arms?
Do you?

Do you ever submit your writing to literary journals?
Yes. All the time. Do you ever get lost in the woods?

Do you read VICE magazine?

Why not?

Because why?
Because I didn't.

How do you feel about Donald Barthelme?
Donald is a duck.

What is a newer book you like then?
My favorite book is Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.

You like books that make you laugh?
No, I hate them.

What is funny?
Nothing is funny. There is no separation of me from myself.

OK. What are you reading now?
It's called Feuchtgebiete.

What is it about?
A girl suffering the effects of being bullied. It almost made me cry.

Just almost?
Alright. In the cosmic sense, nil.

Only two or three books ever have made me really cry.
What god?

What does god have to do with crying?
Many people believe that ghosts are simply human souls that have unfinished business on earth and haven't made it to heaven. It has everything to do with god.


Are you a ghost?
You're right! Five senses, this is the point. What are these five senses? That's arbitrary defined.

Sometimes I wish I had never read a book.
I feel that way often.

You like George Saunders?

Not a fan of satire?
Impress me.

The Bible is pretty funny sometimes.
The Bible is a GOOD book.

What is your favorite part of the Bible?

Do you think god reads books?
I do with considering I can't figure out any other way everything came to be.

What would god's favorite book be?

Everything is a lot.
Nothing is everything. I am nothing.

What will happen next?
I will talk to you, find out your name and date you.