A Hamster on Twitch Is Trading Crypto and Beating the Stock Market

A hamster on a treadmill is doing a decent job of playing the cryptocurrency market. His name is Mr. Goxx, and his adorable day trading antics are live-streamed to the world on his Twitch channel.

Mr. Goxx, who is named for the infamous Mt. Gox cryptocurrency exchange that imploded in 2014, lives in Germany, where a currently anonymous human business partner keeps up maintenance of his office. Inside is a treadmill, a tunnel to scurry down for “buy” and a tunnel for “sell”, two cameras, a Tesla emblem, a desk with miniature computers, and a killer view of a cityscape.

It’s time to trade when Mr. Goxx wanders into the office. A run in his treadmill will select one of 30 different cryptocurrencies. Once he dismounts and wanders through a tunnel, an automated system buys or sells depending on which one he ran through.

Mr. Goxx began his day trading hamster life with a portfolio of €326 ($381). He buys and sells in €20 increments and is locked out of using the tunnels for 20 seconds after he’s run through them. This prevents the temperamental hamster from immediately selling what he’s just bought.

The tiny crypto trader started working the markets in June. According to his first performance review in July, he was down about 7 percent. He’s since rebounded and as of close of business on Friday, was up about 20 percent, or €63, according to Mr. Goxx’s official Twitter account.

The tokens that Mr. Goxx buys and sells run the gamut. He’s got positions in Bitcoin, Doge, Ethereum, and Polkadot, among others. He’s up right now, but he’s usually running at a loss. Still, he’s had success: On Monday, the Mr. Goxx Twitter account said that the hamster was up 19.41 percent, outperforming the S&P 500 for the past three months.

Press attention has poured in recently, as the curious tune in to see how this hamster on a treadmill will do at playing the notoriously volatile cryptocurrency markets. Even Brian Sullivan of CNBC has gotten in on the action, although he seemed a bit baffled.

“I don’t know how much he reads, or she reads, research reports,” Sullivan remarked, while watching the hamster scamper down a tunnel to make a trade. “Look at that: Mr. Goxx is going to get some corn or whatever.”

“I don’t know where you go with any of these stories,” Sullivan said after watching the hamster make a €20 sale of the cryptocurrency Ripple. 

Despite how well Mr. Goxx is currently doing, please don’t take financial advice from a hamster.