Edited by Rachel Barker.
Growing up on entertainment from the 2000s, I’ve become accustomed to an easy type of love.
Movies and TV showed me that all you need is a killer opening line with moxie and the opposite sex would be yours. It’s taken me years to realise that depictions of love in the media are actually really messed up.Fair, without problematic characters or a different kind of love story, the piece of media wouldn’t feel quite right, but it’s not the kind of thing to bring into your own life.
It’s the concerning characters that often get front and centre, and young lovers across the globe try and recreate it. From young adult shows to family-friendly books, there’s no shortage of dodgy characters across the world of entertainment.
What really sucks is that they’re often portrayed as romantic or cheeky, when in reality, they are everything but. Around my school grounds back in 2009, a hot topic of discussion was how Glee’s Rachel Berry got the jock, but when it’s broken down in 2023, a lot of problematic behaviour was at play.
We saw Rachel Berry become unsafely enamoured with character Finn Hudson, stalking him, spying on him, and imagining their lives together, all within the first episode.Her actions aren’t perceived as dangerous, like others detailed below, but for a show that is ultimately targeted to a demographic that is just getting into relationships, she’s not the best role model.
On the other end of the spectrum, we’ve got the character Joe Goldberg from Netflix’s You. The whole show is based around Goldberg’s obsession with the opposite sex. His obsession and manipulation are almost framed as cool throughout the show’s four seasons.
His actions start from the pilot episode, where he first meets the character of Guinevere Beck. It sets off a series of events that showcase Goldberg’s extremely unsafe and problematic personality, from stalking to breaking and entering, all within hours of meeting Guinevere.
This behaviour continues with other women throughout the series, and often ends up with him actually getting the girls that he is over-infatuated with. The fact that this is almost glorified with no reference to its problematic nature isn’t good for young people seeing it across the globe. This activity isn’t limited to TV, books are also home to problematic people from all walks of life.
”Tell Me Lies” by Carola Lovering has quickly become a mainstay of the book world, praised by companies like Vogue and finding attention on BookTok. (Spoiler alert if you haven’t read it)The book surrounds the egocentric character Stephen, whose actions are clearly concerning, yet he still ends up getting the girl, Lucy. Throughout the book, his repeated efforts to pursue the girl ended in rejection, which didn’t turn him away, rather ignited his interest and obsession with her.
When you have an interest in a person, it’s always nice when they feel the same way, but every now and then, there’s an unrequited love. In those cases, you should not keep trying to "win" them over. No means no.
Among the muck, there’s few role models when it comes to how to do relationships properly. The hit sitcom Schitt’s Creek showed us how organic a relationship can form when it came to David and Patrick, they have a successful relationship thanks to space and a clear match of endorphins. As well as them, The Office’s Jim and Pam, and The Brady Bunch’s Carol and Mike all showing us that there doesn’t need to be conflict for there to be love.
While there are some positive portrayals of healthy relationships mixed in with the problematic ones, maybe we shouldn't look to TV and Books when it comes to trying to work out how to deal with our own love lives.If you are struggling with a break-up and need to talk to someone, email lovebetter@youthline.co.nz or text “lovebetter” to 234.This article was created in partnership with the Ministry for Social Development as part of its Love Better campaign.
Partner Content Is Paid For By An Advertiser And The Advertiser Provides Creative Direction And Feedback.© 2023 VICE MEDIA LLC
Growing up on entertainment from the 2000s, I’ve become accustomed to an easy type of love.
Movies and TV showed me that all you need is a killer opening line with moxie and the opposite sex would be yours. It’s taken me years to realise that depictions of love in the media are actually really messed up.Fair, without problematic characters or a different kind of love story, the piece of media wouldn’t feel quite right, but it’s not the kind of thing to bring into your own life.
It’s the concerning characters that often get front and centre, and young lovers across the globe try and recreate it. From young adult shows to family-friendly books, there’s no shortage of dodgy characters across the world of entertainment.
What really sucks is that they’re often portrayed as romantic or cheeky, when in reality, they are everything but. Around my school grounds back in 2009, a hot topic of discussion was how Glee’s Rachel Berry got the jock, but when it’s broken down in 2023, a lot of problematic behaviour was at play.
We saw Rachel Berry become unsafely enamoured with character Finn Hudson, stalking him, spying on him, and imagining their lives together, all within the first episode.
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On the other end of the spectrum, we’ve got the character Joe Goldberg from Netflix’s You. The whole show is based around Goldberg’s obsession with the opposite sex. His obsession and manipulation are almost framed as cool throughout the show’s four seasons.
His actions start from the pilot episode, where he first meets the character of Guinevere Beck. It sets off a series of events that showcase Goldberg’s extremely unsafe and problematic personality, from stalking to breaking and entering, all within hours of meeting Guinevere.
This behaviour continues with other women throughout the series, and often ends up with him actually getting the girls that he is over-infatuated with. The fact that this is almost glorified with no reference to its problematic nature isn’t good for young people seeing it across the globe. This activity isn’t limited to TV, books are also home to problematic people from all walks of life.
”Tell Me Lies” by Carola Lovering has quickly become a mainstay of the book world, praised by companies like Vogue and finding attention on BookTok. (Spoiler alert if you haven’t read it)
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When you have an interest in a person, it’s always nice when they feel the same way, but every now and then, there’s an unrequited love. In those cases, you should not keep trying to "win" them over. No means no.
Among the muck, there’s few role models when it comes to how to do relationships properly. The hit sitcom Schitt’s Creek showed us how organic a relationship can form when it came to David and Patrick, they have a successful relationship thanks to space and a clear match of endorphins. As well as them, The Office’s Jim and Pam, and The Brady Bunch’s Carol and Mike all showing us that there doesn’t need to be conflict for there to be love.
While there are some positive portrayals of healthy relationships mixed in with the problematic ones, maybe we shouldn't look to TV and Books when it comes to trying to work out how to deal with our own love lives.If you are struggling with a break-up and need to talk to someone, email lovebetter@youthline.co.nz or text “lovebetter” to 234.
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