10 Things I Love About Clubbing in Vancouver

There are a lot of things to dislike about clubbing in Vancouver. A lot of stupid, terrible, downright infuriating things. But at the end of the day, there are many more things to love about the scene. Compared to San Francisco, Seattle, or Calgary, there's no contest—Vancouver trounces the lot.

Vancouver breaks the "shady promoter" stereotype and crumbles it into dust. It sweeps that dust-up with a brush and casts it off to the Lion's Gate Bridge. It FedEx's that dust to New York where someone in Midtown snorts it off a dumpster. Promoters like Blueprint (disclosure: I worked there for many months) and their indie competitors Timbre, Cherchez, RE-UP, and even Hyphy aren't just out for a quick buck. They actually care about throwing the best party possible for the city's clubbers. And it shows.

Few people will know the satisfaction that comes with getting a group of friends together after a night at Celebrities (or any club on Granville), and walking down to Sunset Beach. Inner peace is defined as waking up at English Bay with a burger in hand and no recollection of how you got there. There is no better sign of a night out than putting on your shoes in the morning and finding them full of sand.

Unless you're going to Pierre's Champagne Lounge, the people you meet out in Vancouver just don't care about your how swollen your bank account is or which stocks are doing whatever it is that stocks do. They don't give a shit. You're more likely to be judged on your toque than anything meaningful, and the men and women you meet will become fast friends.

I struck up a conversation with a random girl at Fortune once (disclosure: I was hitting on her) and now she's one of my closest friends. We eat chicken nuggets together, I know her cat Quinn on a first-name basis, and we frequently hang out in the daylight. This happens all the time to me and the people that I know, and it's one of the most beautiful things about Vancouver.

I've been out in a lot of cities and when I end up at a bad club, I end up at a reeeally bad club. We're talking about a total disregard for common decency in all things musical. Akon un-ironically mixed into Tiesto, whatever is trending on Spinnin' Records right now—the lot. When you end up at a bad club in Vancouver, worst case scenario you hear HypeM remixes of pop songs and are too drunk off $4 hiballs to notice. People who haven't gone clubbing outside of Vancouver will never know how fortunate they are.

Every time my friends in London, New York, or Toronto complain about public transport, I laugh in their stupid faces. Need to get anywhere in the city after the clubs close? That'll be $2.75 here, and yes, buses run 'till late. Don't have change? Night shift transit workers are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and will never turn you away.

A ban on Ed Hardy, Affliction, Tap Out, and other miscellaneous "douche-wear" is the closest to a formal dress code you will find in Vancouver. If you want to go to a trendy club in a banker's suit and loafers, you're more than welcome to. If you want to go to a Top 40 club in a paint-stained Hypercolour sweater, nobody will tell you that you can't. If you want to wear a BC Lions jersey and cargo shorts, god bless you, the line for The Bourbon is just a few blocks away, sir.

Look how great my old apartment was. Just look, damnit.

(Photo by author)

One of the worst things about clubbing in Vancouver is not living downtown. One of the best things about clubbing in Vancouver is living downtown. If you move to Burrard and Nelson, every venue is immediately "just around the block". If you live in Chinatown, bringing people home has never been easier. If you live in Coal Harbour you're probably boring, but you'll save a hell of a lot on cab fare.

(Photo courtesy of Vancity Buzz)

Late night pizza is a codeword for violent diarrhea, except under one circumstance: when it comes from Goldie's pizza. This is not your run-of-the-mill processed cheese-topped, sauce-drowned pizza. This is real, proper, brick oven-fired artisan pizza and it stays up later than you do. If you need to sober up, wait for a bus, call a cab, or just enjoy a slice of good fucking pizza, Goldie's is the place you call home.

If you think you live in a better-looking city than Vancouver, you don't know shit about shit. What have you got? Tall buildings? Some bridges? A bay? We've all of the above, plus blissful, snow-capped mountain ranges—and because of that, our Instagrams are thoroughly appreciated. You can't properly appreciate this effect until it's 1AM on a Friday, and a hot stranger touches your arm and asks, "Hey, aren't you @instakarm?"

Pop-up parties are the cherry on top of Vancouver's kale-infused cake. You could be walking home from Gastown and get swept into a boutiques attic space, or you could be watching Kaytranada spin an after-after-hours set at a random gallery in Chinatown. That, or you end up in a condo belonging to one of the Canucks and you drink all their liquor. Either or.

Ziad Ramley is on Twitter

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