Seven bless me. After a looong build-up in the first two episodes of season eight, Game of Thrones's seventieth chapter was almost certainly the most cataclysmic installment of the series to date. We still have a LOT of questions about what exactly went down at the Battle of Winterfell, but that’s a different article. Into the breach once more, my memes. Charge!
First off, The Long Night featured some questionable-at-best military strategy, and people took note. Sure, the Dothraki light cavalry might be best served by attacking the dead outside Winterfell, but why wasn’t everyone else behind the stone walls, or at least the fire trench? You guys know every soldier you waste turns into an ice zombie, right?
For a guy who learned combat in a paramilitary organization based in a castle next to a giant fucking ice wall, you’d think Jon Snow would know more about defending a medieval fort. But, no, just run around with your sword, that’ll for sure work, dude.
Like the first two episodes, this episode was also very dark. Like, literally.
And there were some tragic deaths…
…but honestly, way more people survived than many expected. Brienne and Jaime shippers can rest easy, and it looks like Grey Worm is going on that beach vacation with Missandei after all.
While everyone else was fighting for their lives, Bran did the eye thing for some reason. Thanks, Bran!
Things eventually went south in the crypt, but who didn’t see that coming?
Finally, Arya jumped out of a window and slayed the bad bad ice man.
Winter is coming? Winter is here??? More like Winter just blew a 3-1 lead in the Finals. On to episode four, and the return of chaotic, evil wine mom Cersei.
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.
Follow Peter Slattery on Twitter .