If peacocks weren't gloriously beautiful creatures with feathers that look like something you should only see when mixing whippits and acid, everyone would hate them. They are aggressive jerks who poop everywhere, scream constantly, and can't even fly well. They can also do some serious damage inside liquor stores, apparently.
That's what happened when a female peacock made her way inside Arcadia, California's Royal Oaks Liquor Store last Monday, the Associated Press reports. The birds are pretty common in the area, and one somehow wandered into its local liquor store. A customer quickly spotted the bird strutting around the aisles and asked the store's manager, Rani Ghanem, about "el pollo"—"the chicken" in Spanish. Unfortunately, it wasn't a chicken, it was a peacock, and soon all hell broke loose. The manager tried to usher the bird outside, but it flew up and settled on top of a shelf, so he called 911 for a little assistance.
Things went from "Oh, how fun, there's a peacock in the store" to "Oh, fuck, there's a peacock in the store" when the California animal control officer tried to wrangle the feathered beast with a net.
"It jumped on top of these bottles," Ghanem told the AP. "From there, it went straight diving through the whole aisle."
The peacock hopped and dodged to avoid the officer's net, sending cascades of wine and champagne bottles smashing to the store's floor like an insane boat christening. It took around 90 minutes to finally usher the bird outside, leaving behind $500 worth of damages and a mess for Ghanem to clean up.
"He's got expensive taste. I'm like, 'You break, you buy, my dude,'" Ghanem said. "But clearly, he didn't."