Piss-ups and Social Politics: Does Dunedin Party Culture Make Dating Harder?

Dunedin (Ōtepoti) has gained a bit of a rep among New Zealanders old, young and everything in between – and rightfully so. Alongside the top-tier Otago education that can be gained there, it’s renowned for its hectic O Week, lively halls, mammoth street parties and general daily debauchery. Exam season is pretty much the only time you can walk down the infamous Castle or Leith Street without crossing paths with a tipsy group of students, each gripping a box, a goon or a funnel. 

Although there are a few changes impacting the historically untamed party culture in Dunedin – like the university buying out student housing and wardens patrolling the streets – it's still a big part of the experience. 

Because of this reputation, the demands of the city’s culture can make it seem like anyone worth knowing is someone that goes out – and this idea pushes students to head down to Castle Street each weekend (and weeknight… and weekday…) and party. “Everyone goes”, local student Tia* told VICE, and that means, “it's more common on a night out to see someone you like.” 

So you can bet that where there’s thousands of eager 18+ year olds, alcohol and near-no supervision, there’s gonna be some sex and romance. Most people around uni age are ready to dive into the dating scene – but does this environment, saturated with piss-ups and social politics, lend itself to successful relationships?  

If there’s one thing Dunedin students will tell you about dating at university, it's that hook-up culture is rife. While the age of community dances and asking for dad’s permission has long-since passed, most of Aotearoa’s biggest cities have retained some sense of formal dating culture, even if the easiest way to meet in the first place is Tinder or Hinge. But it seems that, in Dunedin, hook-ups and casual situationships dominate the world of romance.

Mitchell, a second year student in Dunedin, told VICE that hook-up culture and dating culture are completely separate things.

“Like, going to a party to hook-up with someone is different to actually going and dating someone,” he said. But in a city where parties are the easiest way to meet other people, actively having to go out of your way to date can feel vulnerable and overly committed. As Abby*, a student at Otago University, told VICE, “I feel like people these days are quite afraid of that kind of thing, because you're meeting heaps of people and you don't want to close yourself off.”

Otago University student Connor* told VICE about how the casual energy around dating gets in the way of potential romances, too.

“I think it makes it very complicated,” they said. “Because you could start talking to someone, and you’re heading somewhere, but you haven't really talked about exclusivity and things like that. And it's like, on a big night out, everyone's having fun. Maybe they do something with someone and it kind of throws everything up in the air.” 

As Mitchell told VICE, “People get horsey as”, and those are the facts. If you’re strong-willed and sensible enough to avoid it, give yourself a pat on the back – but for the rest of us idiots, alcohol is going to have an impact on dating (or, well, not dating). 

Abby shared that in her experience “people get together more because of drinking” and Mitchell agreed: “Dutch courage has its name for a reason.” 

Confidence could be considered a plus, depending on what you want out of your night, but an impaired sense of self-control can lead to more emotional turbulence than you bargained for. Connor told VICE that he felt like cheating was a common occurrence for Dunedin students – even people in official relationships. “You hear people cheating and saying, oh, big night out, I was drunk, it was a mistake.”

And then of course there’s the break-ups that happen after the parties and the drama and the mess. And just like the hook-ups, drinking always finds a way to make things more complicated. 

“People will go out, do the whole, get over someone by getting under someone else, thing. Then afterwards, they regret it because they did it too soon, or because they were upset,” Connor told VICE. 

The tension that’s created when people break-up in a place that's so socially party-dependant is also something that can have a big impact. “On the breaking-up side of things, it can also make it quite awkward,” said Abby. “You definitely end up getting into groups when you're at university, and if you break-up it makes it quite restricting. If parties are the normal place you go to see your friends, and if that's the main thing that you do with your friends, it feels limiting if you can't go drink with your friends because of a break-up.”

But it’s not all negative. From the Romans, to the roaring 20’s, to the Leith Street O’week, people have been enjoying the spoils of decadence for a lifetime. Parties can be fucking great, otherwise they wouldn't happen. 

And the students of Dunedin know what they’re in for when they sign up for life down south. “I’ve said a few negative things about going out and partying and hanging out with people. But also there's people that without a night out, I wouldn't have met. If I hadn't gone out that night, then I wouldn't have met them, so it has its pros and cons like with anything” said Connor. And when it comes to romance? “Just be considerate.”

It’s undeniable that partying shapes the culture of romance in the student city, but that doesn’t mean you have to avoid it… As Abby told VICE “Do what you want to have your fun, but be respectful, be understanding, don't ghost people, don't be afraid of relationships. Hook-ups aren't everything, but life is life, experience it.” 

Own the Feels is brought to you by #LoveBetter, a campaign funded by the Ministry for Social Development.

LoveBetter Youthline support channels:

Email: lovebetter@youthline.co.nz

Or rangatahi can text lovebetter to 234

https://check.areyouok.org.nz/

Rachel Barker is a writer / producer at VICE NZ in Aotearoa. You can find her @rachellydiab on IG and Letterboxd and see her film criticism on Youtube.