Nintendo Dodges Questions About Mario's Nipples, Belly Button

What is it hiding?

Nintendo fans are still reeling from the revelation that everyone’s favorite plumber Mario has nipples but no belly button, as revealed in the high definition graphics of Super Mario Odyssey for the Switch. The lack of an umbilical cord scar goes a long way to confirming the theory that Mario is not a human being.

In a YouTube video Nintendo published today, Super Mario Odyssey producer Yoshiaki Koizumi was presented with this tough question. Why nips and no belly button? What kind of nightmares are you trying to give children Koizumi? His answer didn’t satisfy.

“To be perfectly honest, I didn’t expect that to be a topic among fans,” the developer said. “Once I heard that people were talking so much about Mario’s belly button it made me start to think about whether we should revisit the topic on the design side.”

Koizumi burned through other popular questions about Mario in a rapid fire, no comment kind of way. The most important of which was, what’s the deal with Peach, Mario, and Pauline?

“I would appreciate it if we could respect the privacy of those three at this time,” Koizumi said in a dodge that appears to cover for Mario’s polyamory.