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Joke Busters - Do Pastry Chefs Have Shit for Brains?

Welcome to Joke Busters, where I test drive a comedian’s joke in the real world to see if it works or if it’s BUSTED.
March 7, 2012, 5:00am

Welcome to Joke Busters, where I test drive a comedian’s joke in the real world to see if it works or if it’s BUSTED. For this first one, I chose to do a joke by Brendon Walsh, who twice made me cry with laughter, once with his "cakes" bit and another time with his "anal gaping" joke. I decided to do the "cakes" one 'cause I didn’t want to test out any anal gaping--especially since it involves fishing your car keys out of someone's butt with a piece of chewing gum on the end of a stick.

The cakes joke is about having freedom as an adult to do whatever you want--you could even walk into a bakery and have them make a cake that says, “People Who Make Cakes for a Living Have Shit For Brains” and they would have to make it. Of course I'm doing a shit job of telling it but you don't want me to spoil the joke anyway.

So we bought some spy cameras and scouted for bakeries. We went to five places and ALL of them couldn't do the cake, because people who make cakes for a living start work at 5 AM and we are dipstick comedians who wake up at 3 in the afternoon. I was about to say his joke was busted, but just then we spotted a little Armenian pastry shop. I told Brendon that we couldn't do it at a place that didn't get the insult we were going to inscribe, that would be cheating. We were greeted by two gorgeous Armenian babes and we chatted them up for a minute to make sure they weren't straight off a boat or something. I also told him we couldn’t be laughing either, we had to look serious so they weren't in on the joke. I gave Brendon the go-ahead, so he picked out a cake and the pastry babe asked him to write down what he wanted.

This is her reading the message:

After he wrote it down, she gave a 25% smile and disappeared in the back to write out the message. Then we waited forever 21 and she finally came out. It was a chocolate cake and she wrote it in dark red, so it was really hard to read. She even acknowledged this and kept apologizing and saying she could do it again if we wanted.

Now, we don’t really think people who make cakes for a living have shit for brains but maybe it turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy, like how people named Dennis often become dentists and how Anthony Weiner became a weinist. I don’t know, but next time I go in there, I’m thinking I'll have her write “People Who Make Cakes for a Living Want to Kiss Comedians.”