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MILF Madness: Why So Many Men Want to Fuck Moms

According to new data from the adult website GameLink.com, interest in MILF porn has increased over the last four years. We asked a sex therapist why.
May 5, 2016, 8:33pm
Screengrab via "American Pie"

If you're still looking for a way to celebrate Mother's Day, consider this: According to data compiled by the online adult store GameLink.com, interest in MILF porn has risen 83 percent in the last four years.

It isn't flowers, but it's something. The website, which has one of the largest catalogs of adult content in the United States, put together a set of hot-mom statistics in honor of the weekend holiday, making it even easier to whip out a handy factoid at brunch on Sunday. Although the genre saw a 12 percent decline in interest between 2010 and 2011 ("reasons unknown"), MILF porn has otherwise seen constant attention since it became a thing.

Read more: How Incest Porn Is Making a Comeback

According to GameLink, it's fairly easy to pinpoint when the MILF figure appeared in popular culture: upon the 1999 release of American Pie, in which Stifler's mother, played by Jennifer Coolidge, has sex with her son's friend on the basement pool table—to the chagrin of Stifler, who walks in. The release of the Fountains of Wayne song "Stacy's Mom" in 2003 was more representative of the trend than a catalyst for its growth; however, another spike in MILF porn interest occurred between 2007 and 2009, when performer Lisa Ann's parody portrayal of Sarah Palin in the 2008 film Who's Nailin' Paylin? increased MILF porn sales by 357 percent.

In other words, it's clear that people love moms. But why? "The classic take is the Freudian one," says Peter Kanaris, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist who has been practicing for 35 years. "The child seeks to connect sexually with the opposite-sex parent—so the male child [seeks to connect] with the mother. What prevents us from seeking the mother is the fear of castration by the father. The [MILF] fantasy could be looked at, in a way, as conquering the castration anxiety—saying, 'I'm really going for the mother figure.'"

Another theory, Kanaris says, comes from the sex therapist Jack Morin, whose book The Erotic Mind established the concept of an individual's "core erotic themes." This is the idea that "for unknown reasons we develop a primary core sexual theme that will really act as a substantial turn-on throughout much of our lives," Kanaris says. An interest in moms might be a "primordial" core erotic theme for some people.

Finally, there's the fact that it's a taboo (albeit a totally sexist one). While Kanaris hasn't seen an increase in clients talking about moms they'd like to fuck, he says the topic often comes up because it's a source of shame, either because the client is personally concerned about their predilection or because a significant other finds out about it. "[An interest in moms] becomes a source of shame because, traditionally, it is a taboo; it's an incestuous fantasy," Kanaris says. Even when the fantasies don't concern the person's own mother, they're still considered suspect. "The fact that it's [about] a mom and representing the 'mother' figure connects up with that same incestuous sense."

In Kanaris's view, the fact that women in our (sexist) culture become desexualized once they have children might increase the taboo factor, but more critical to forming the MILF fantasy are the "quasi-sexual experiences" children have with their mothers during their formative years.

"The quasi-sexual experiences and nurturing experiences that we have in the world are commonly with the mother," he says. "Of course, the nurturing continues [throughout our lives]; it's not hard to imagine the sexual aspect of that lies dormant and then becomes activated, a focal point for desire."