This Valentine’s Day, Think Outside The Box Of Chocolates

Remember when you were a kid, and it was the 90s (or whatever era is preserved as your “golden” one) and you’d hear “2013” and think that surely by then we’d all be wearing light-up clothing and teleporting to work? Unfortunately, we still have wheels on our cars (unless you live in Renaud Marion’s Air Drive series) and light-up clothing is reserved for the pop stars like Carrie Underwood.

One area where there’s been a notable lack of progress is in the traditions of fake-holidays-invented-by-the-greeting-card-industry—i.e. Valentine's Day, which is full of tired clichés and uninspired presents. But that doesn't mean you and your special someone have to conform to the norm. Here’s a list of substitutions for the tired Valentine’s Day routine.

A Box of Chocolates

Instead of the typical heart-shaped box of chocolates adorned with the matronly face of Mrs. Sees, let your lover stare into your chocolate-glazed eyes with FabCafe’s chocolate mold of your face. Sorry guys, only the women will be able to get a chocolate clone this year, as in Japan it is traditional for women to give the men chocolate.

[via That’s Nerdalicious!]

Not a chocolate fan? Perhaps chomping on Pez dispensed from your neck would be a better option for your sweetie.

[via Hot Pop Factory]

Jewelry

Jewelry shopping is a diamond-crusted mine field around Valentine’s Day, and while a diamond is forever, cubic zirconia is not. And it’s also tacky. You know what's really romantic though? ART. Not just any art though—personalized art! Pay tribute to your honey as the one and only muse in your life with adorable and quirky 3D printable sculptures. Give the gift of 3D-printable sculptures to your sweetie for Valentine's Day.

This crystal from SOFTlab is more heartwarming than any diamond.

Roses

Instead of further destroying the environment by clipping rose buds, maybe you should look into a CO2 scrubber or Seed Dispersal Robot from Liam Young’s Of Tomorrow’s Thoughts Today. Okay, these dystopian rain-forest-savers aren’t actually available yet. Maybe Valentine's Day 2014.

CO2 Scrubber

Seed Dispersal Robot

[via dezeen]

Perhaps one of Macoto Murayama's Inorganic Flowers would be a better option. If only those sprouted out of the ground for our picking pleasure.

Dinner and a Rom-Com

Instead of vying for dinner reservations for two at a restaurant where the servers are bitter, the food comes out slow, and the mandatory table wedged between the two of you keeps you from getting any action, head Fool’s Gold Records for their opening of Artist Series 7: Josh Wehle in Brooklyn.

Not in New York?

Stay in and watch creator Spike Jonze’s I’m Here, a movie about two robots who fall in love with a far-from-romantic-comedy-perfect ending.

Spike Jonze’s I’m Here

According to my extensive research, the teddy bear first started nuzzling into kiddies’ beds around 100 years ago. Named after former President Teddy Roosevelt, these completely useless furry creatures adorned with a phrase such as "I Love You" or "Be Mine" have been around for long enough. Try one of Phillip Blackman’s UndeadTeds to convey your unique feelings for that special someone…

Actually, on second thought, I wouldn't advise this unless your honey has a blood thirst. These are really terrifying.

Although Valentine’s Day isn’t anyone’s favorite holiday, and can oftentimes end up being quite costly, remember that when you are in love, your brain starts to look a lot like your brain on drugs. Dinner and a movie in exchange for an unquantifiable and potentially life-long supply of dopamine is ultimately a bargain.

[via Laughing Squid]

Happy Valentine’s Day!

@megyoungblood