Good morn! Or whatever time it is there, down on planet Earth. We’ve been sent to heaven on a cloud of Way Day patio furniture deals, and have briefly descended from our price-slashed, All Weather Recliner to spread the outdoor decor gospel.
We smooch our rosary beads with thee, on this Most Holy of Way Days. If you’re new to the annual furniture and home goods holiday, WELCOME! [Splashes unholy water] Way Day is held every year in the spring, in the spirit of purging the woebegone goods of our storage units and investing in fresh decor for our (now vaccinated) ready-to-entertain behinds. It is held online, on a large and powerful home decor website called “Wayfair” that is basically to Amazon what Princess Margaret is to the Queen. (So, still cringe but more fun.) As the old Lord Way Day proverb states, “Whence the cherry blossoms bloom and the bodega cat cackles, it is time to give the Wayfolk a two-day blowout sale with up to 80 percent off the best outdoor furniture and stuff. Oh, and make it all ship for free.”
So, where’s the rub?
Sifting through the Way Day patio furniture deals is kind of intense. Those Waylords are hawking A LOTTA outdoor sectionals and dining sets to you today and tomorrow (as in, hundreds upon hundreds of pages for single-item categories). We love being a martyr for capitalism and/or attention, so we put on our very best cranberry harvest pants, and waded into the golden Way Day lake of deals, deals, deals, to find you the comfiest outdoor patio furniture and decor deals for this summer, from whole outdoor seating sets to vibey neon bar lights; rugs that can take a sploosh of wine, swoll all-weather umbrellas, vintage inspired seating and patio chairs, and everything else you need to cozy up to the cicada circus.
You’d rather be in Austin
Hot tip: Neon signs are one of ways to feel like you’ve brought the bar to you. In this case, it’s a bar with spurs, Lone Star, and a circle of your best vaccinated friends giving each other Willie Nelson braids.
White Gutierrez Neon Sign,
$169.95 $95.99 at Wayfair
Is this a fancy desert resort?
(We’d like it to be.) It’s even solar-powered! We can just picture the Kardashians lighting a footpath to an Expensive Toddler Party with these.
Azure Sky Solar Powered Outdoor Floor Lamp,
$83.99 $71 at Wayfair
The umbrella that’s already started drinking
Why does it just look cheerier than humanly possible? Maybe it’s because it’s made of sustainably sourced materials, or stays flexible with those crank, lift, and tilt features. Maybe it will teach you how to Dougie.
Zipcode Design McDougal Market Umbrella,
$229.29 $99 at Wayfair
This interseasonal dining set
These kind of almost look like the chairs they have all over Paris’ gardens, which matters because those chairs are also iron (but damn pricy), yet somehow manage to be extremely comfortable. You can change your pillows and tables and the rest of your decor, but this set of four chairs will be a mainstay through the tides of trends.
Black Corrales Stacking Patio Dining Chair (Set of 4),
$304 $169.99 at Wayfair
For your mix-n-match summer succulents
The whole green family can live in here, and overflow in beautiful Nancy Meyers-esque fashion. And if you don’t know which plants to buy (without killing them) we have a plant guide for all you black-thumbed cuties.
AllModern Taupe Kailin Pot Planter,
$20 $8.89 at Wayfair
These remind us of Dakota Johnson’s chairs
You know, the now-iconic Architectural Digest video home tour. But if you need a reminder: The one where actor Dakota Johnson casually shows viewers her home, and specifically a patio set made out of Winston Churchill's boat or something.
Dark Brown Diboll Acacia Patio Dining Armchair (Set of 2),
$379 $279.99 at Wayfair
This sentient orb
You might’ve also bought the viral sunset lamp from TikTok. This glowing ball of sentient good vibes is the next step. Of course it changes color! It knows you’re depressed!
Pearl Star White Solar Powered Pathway Light,
$80.77 $56.99 at Wayfair
This would be great in the living room or patio
Depending on your mood, season, or alternating furniture situation, this rug is kind of like those jute rugs (which, like this rug, are great for doing the two-rug stack trick) that feel so good under your feet. Only, it looks like it will last even longer. This boy used to cost upwards of $100, but on Holy Way Day it’s 60-percent off!
Bromsgrove Handmade Braided Tan Indoor / Outdoor Rug,
$95 $37.99 at Wayfair
The Cadillac of recliners
Usually this recliner costs as much as our first basement room sublet’s monthly rent. Now we’re blessedly out of the basement, it’s on sale for 35 percent off, and we’re ready for a shot at love with one of the most beloved recliners (700+ passionate reviews; a 4.8 star rating) on Wayfair. It comes in various colors, will outlast every one of your relationships, and will look so sexy poolside. Even if that pool is but a humble bird bath.
Black Kiara 76" Long Reclining Single Chaise,
$650 $419.98 at Wayfair
You’re the cool gas station character in that one scene
Need a light? This chair radiates one of the two, with no in-between: 1) Sleazy cool Lynchian gas station guy 2) The main car from Cars.
Hashtag Home Morrison Patio Dining Armchair,
$81.99 $65.59 at Wayfair
These chairs are a right of passage
We have cried in this chair. We have been re-born in this chair. IYKYK, and if you don’t: Find out! We have a love-hate relationship with this chair, but now that we’ve gone a year without restaurants we think it’s...love? Dunno yet. Get this chair and make someone you hate sit in it. See if it makes you love them more. Or just restaurants. [Sigh]
Trent Austin Design Distressed Black Dovercliff Bar & Counter Stool,
$150 $85.49 at Wayfair
How to do the checker trend differently from everyone else
The rest of the world (or at least Soho) has wavy check patterns on their masks and pillows–but you [Jurassic Park voice], you clever girl, you have it subtly gracing an outdoor rug. And for pennies! We have purchased omelette brunch combos more expensive than this rug (on-sale)!
Davita Checkerboard Handmade Natural Area Rug,
$50.70 $22.99 at Wayfair
No more stepping inside to cook
As the host, you must keep your octopus arms in all corners of the gathering. The more centrally located you can be, the more likely your Dad Jokes will land. Something about this outdoor stove feels Guy Fieri-levels of liberating; just imagine sliding and chopping veggies and tender meats across this baby.
Bene Casa Cast Iron 1-Burner Propane Outdoor Stove,
$220.99 $155.99 at Wayfair
“Just follow the dragon”
If you have yet to explore the cursed depths of Design Toscano, WELCOME! You live here now, right by Lil Nas X’s stripper pole. Let this gateway “Dragon of Falkenberg” hold your hand on the way to the giant crab chair.
The Dragon of Falkenberg Castle Moat Lawn Statue,
$117.90 $87.99 Wayfair
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. VICE may receive a small commission if you buy through the links on our site.