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Surviving the Apocalypse with Mish Way

We asked Mish Way about some of the tough decisions she would have to make in order to survive a mutant apocalypse.
October 8, 2014, 9:55pm

Everyone has fantasized, at one point or another, about how they would fare in a sudden mutant apocalypse. Some people have an exit strategy regarding how to get out of their neighbourhood and into a safe space in a hurry, while others may have spent years training in a specific form of combat, awaiting the perfect time for them to put those skills to good use. But what about the details that you haven't thought of, like where you'd find the will to continue living, or where you'd set up your future home? We asked Mish Way about some of the tough decisions she would have to make in order to survive a mutant apocalypse.


Everyone’s got their “desert island” records, but what about post-apocalypse records? What albums would you bring with you to survive a mutant invasion?
To survive I would need rock. Heavy, loud guitars to keep me insane and ready to claw my way to the death. But it's got to have a sunny, melodic disposition somewhere in there so I'm gonna say Girlschool "Hit & Run", L7 "smell the magic" and Gun Club "Miami" (just because it would be the music for thinking, scheming)

Is there a particular song suited to slaying radioactive mutants?
Vice Squad "Scarred for Life" or JT IV "Destructo Rock".

So you’re trapped in a sporting goods store and your choices of weapon are a golf club, a shovel, or nunchucks. What one weapon would you choose and why?
Nunchucks are out right away. What am I? Chuck Norris? Nunchucks are not a survival tool, that's show-off stuff. Like dudes who do yoga in the park. Ew. The shovel is the obvious tool, you can use it to impale as well as dig. The shovel is the smart choice.

Say you had a High Fidelity gun that fires vinyl records at your enemies and you hear the songs on them playing as they fly through the air. What albums would you load that gun with and why?
GISM "Destination Rock". Japanese hardcore would confuse any mutant. This is mutant slaying music, it's twisted.

Which fictional characters would you draw inspiration from in your quest to survive the post-apocalyptic wasteland?
Billy Bob or Ellie May in Redneck Zombies. He plays the gay brother who isn't really accepted by his hillbilly brothers and his father, they just think he's kind of "funny". Plus, he wears his shirt tucked into a fake bikini like I used to do in the summer when I was 12 years old.

If you could push one Canadian music celebrity into a horde of mutants to save your own life, who would that be?
Drake. He had a good run but now it's time to be a mutants dinner. It would be even better if I could push that nerd into the mutants while he was in his Degrassi wheelchair. If drake's not around I'll take Emily Haines.


Everyone needs a good survival team. If you could have any three Canadians from any point in history join your team, who would they be and why?
Avril for the high kicks, I've seen her do a one handed cartwheel too and maybe she's all bark and no bite but there's no better way to find out than in an attack. Chad Kroeger because you know he'd try to be a hero. And he'd blow it and probably be sacrificed first. He'd buy me some time, plus I'm sure he's got expensive tools I could steal after he was eaten. And lastly, Melissa Auf De Maur… I met her recently when we played her place Basilica and I think she'd be good conversation during down time. She'd be a hard ass.

Which of your physical characteristics/attributes would prove to be most valuable in a post-apocalyptic world?
My loud voice. Don't mutants scare from noise? Wait, that's bears. Forget that. I think my skinny arms and fingers. I can get it crevasses most can't. Maybe that would be helpful? I run fast and my Legs are strong. How would a fat ass help one survive?

Which one of your secret skills/hobbies would help you survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland?
Can mutants be manipulated? Can they be coaxed with words? If they can, I'm good.

Which province would you chose to plant your roots in and create a post-apocalyptic fortress?
Anywhere on PEI or Vancouver Island, assuming that this mutant thing started in land and will take longer to cross water… then again, resources run out quicker there…. Fuck it. I'm staying Vancouver Island as far West as possible.

How would you rebuild the old civilization? Where would you start?
By creating some kind of hierarchy. Capturing mutants and turning them into slaves to do manual labor and build walls high around us. I'd develop a matriarchy, just to see how it goes.

The apocalypse has robbed you of everything you hold dear in life. What is your motivation to continue living?
Because what's the other option? To roll over and die? That's boring. I'm going to say right now though, I would be terrible in a post-apocalyptic world alone. Terrible. If I was with my fiancé I would be fine because he's got that skill set. He grew up in small town Arkansas. He knows how to use a knife, make shelter out of nothing, he's got that brain which I do not have, but I am learning a lot from him.

Slava Pastuk would choose the "give up" option in an apocalypse. - @SlavaP