On Friday, I made the mistake of coming across a really awful comment some old fucker had written about me online. Who cares, right? The word “whore” should slide off my back like water by now, but on Friday I was very fragile and kind of let it burn me. I’m only human. Then, I came across this quote by Kathleen Hanna about Beyoncé:
"Yes!" I told myself, "Everyone needs to channel their inner Beyoncé. I need to find my inner Beyoncé!"I am well aware that, no matter how much mojo, Buddhist strength, or sacred, crystal-powered love I can muster up, I won’t even have close to the power that Beyoncé has in her perfectly-manicured pinky finger. Even as I write this, Word is correcting the “e” in Beyoncé to have an accent. Word knows who Beyoncé is.It’s arguable that Beyoncé is the most powerful woman in pop right now. Even if you do not love her music, you’d be hard pressed to find someone that does not like Beyoncé. None of us actually know Beyoncé, but we all like Beyoncé. That’s a pretty weird phenomenon.The thing about Beyoncé is that she has this element of mystery and class that no one can top. She’s got some Jackie O. shit going on. She keeps her private life very private. She calls the shots. She’s never seen smoking menthols and drinking Red Bull with her side boob hanging out. Instead, she’s hugging Jay-Z backstage at a concert or waving a peace sign while shaking her crazy hair. Beyoncé doesn’t barf in public or have nip-slips. Beyoncé is the perfection that most of us could never dream of achieving, yet she is entirely believable as a real person. People this perfect are usually irritating, but come on, who is irritated by Beyoncé? Who? Who?!?Today Beyoncé turns 31 years old. So, Happy birthday Beyoncé! We are sure you have been showered with diamonds, angels, and unicorns by now, but this is our cheap Hallmark card for you. Keep doing what you are doing, ruling the pop world and such. Never let the world in on your secrets.@myszkaway
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