Photos via Instagram
Lil Kim began poking her head out of celebrity obscurity during the rise of Nicki Minaj, who she believed was ripping her style. When Nicki announced her 2011 debut album Pink Friday, Lil Kim dropped Black Friday, whose photoshopped blood-splattered artwork showed the veteran MC sitting next to Minaj’s severed head, sword in hand. Three years later, Lil Kim is still playing off of Minaj’s discography, most recently dropping her own “Flawless (Remix)” where she tries to dethrone Minaj from her self-appointed title as the Queen of Rap—which she followed up with the more blatant attack, “Identity Theft.”
Friday night I had the rare chance of actually seeing Lil Kim perform rather than just reading about her fights, strange baby shower, and whatever else has landed her in the press as of late. In front of an audience of hundreds of turned up club goers—which was mostly comprised of Intermix-wearing teenagers and an overwhelming amount of gay boys celebrating New York Fashion Week—Lil Kim got on stage (DJ booth) and rapped (yelled out occasional phrases over pre-recorded vocals) all of the old hits. Since the lady hasn’t put anything notable out in a long, long time, unless you count her Minaj diss tracks, the night was basically a “Best Of” performance.
Did Lil Kim forget the words to her old songs or was her lip-syncing spectacle just a general no-fucks-given attitude? The answer is unclear. But the audience—who didn’t intend to stare at a fading iconic star dancing around as a DJ plays her music—still seemed mostly euphoric to simply be in her presence.
Also, it should be noted that she recently popped out a youngster, casually named Royal Reign (JK, that is the opposite of casual), which makes me think, “I really hope getting Botox injections while pregnant isn’t like drinking while pregnant, because, if it is, that baby’s going to grow up with a face so tight Dolly Parton will go into conniptions.”
But seriously, what exactly is going on with her face? I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves. I’ll also let the late Joan Rivers speak, as she would have no doubt had some easy and hilarious comments to throw out about the piece of plastic-infused art that is Lil Kim’s face.
“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
Thank Joan! Lil Kim will make sure to keep whoever makes red plastic cups in business as well.
All complaints aside, Lil Kim is a legend and living a life far more impressive than my wine-drinking, reality TV obsessed soul, and the ratchetry was beyond worth it.
Mathias Rosenzweig isn't taking sides on the Nicki vs. Lil Kim beef. He's on Twitter - @lil_nervous.
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