I want you to look long and hard at the face above. Is this one of the most recognizable directors in recent times, glancing at a camera with an expression universally reserved for when an elderly relative has an accident during Christmas dinner? Or is it the heedless visage of a man who just dropped millions on some fresh Wu? You tell me.
Back in August, we joked about how, err, nobody has bought that $5million Wu Tang Clan album yet, as the debacle surrounding this one of a kind cultural artifact rolled on. The record, Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, comes in an engraved silver and nickel box, with leather-bound liner notes, and features the entire Clan, Cher, the Barcelona football team, and other novelty rich people. The whole idea behind it was that by creating something so absurdly luxurious and inaccessible to the normal person, this album would single handedly restore value in music in the 21st century. Funny right? No, funnier, because as Forbes reported last night, someone has actually gone and bought it.
The album was finally been sold via Paddle 8 auction house, who have previously sold works by Jeff Koons (a man who turns the "everyday" into the "artistic" to the extent that it is possible to mistake an art gallery's own fire extinguisher for one of his pieces on display) and Damien Hirst (a man who killed 9,000 butterflies for an exhibition for people who have lived in cities so long they don't remember what forests are), but the buyer remains anonymous. However, we are pretty damn confident we know exactly who bought it. It was Quentin Tarantino. It was totally Quentin Tarantino. Here's all the reasons that have led us to believe it was Quentin Tarantino.
Quentin Tarantino is an American Person with Millions of Moneys
As reported by Forbes, the new owner of Once Upon a Time in Shaolin is an American person who could afford to spend millions of moneys.
Quentin Tarantino is a Massive Wu Tang Fan
Tarantino loves the Wu Tang Clan. He's obsessed with the Kung Fu themes in their music, and enlisted RZA to score the soundtrack to Kill Bill. He also helped RZA make his directorial debut with The Man With the Iron Fists, and starred in it. I mean, here he is wearing the Wu Wear cut off tee like it's normal for anyone to wear a cut off tee unless you're going to a Halloween party as Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This is true fan stuff. And here he is with some members of the Clan, sporting a fringe that says "I make very impulsive purchases based on my passions in life".
Quentin Tarantino Likes to Make Very Impulsive Purchases Based on His Passions in Life
He saved a movie theater in LA from redevelopment in 2007, left the family that ran it in charge and gave this inspirational quote to the press: "As long as I'm alive, and as long as I'm rich, the New Beverly will be there, showing double features in 35mm." As of 2014, Tarantino took over the programming himself, and now they just show what he wants.
Quentin Tarantino Also Has Weird Axes to Grind About How the Digital Era Has Devalued Physical Commodities
“I am not excited about streaming at all,” Tarantino said in a piece by IndieWire. “I like something hard and tangible in my hand. And I can’t watch a movie on a laptop. I don’t use Netflix at all. I don’t have any sort of delivery system.” Sounds like the kinda guy that prefers his music albums in engraved nickel boxes crafted in Moroccan mountains to me.
And If You Needed Anymore Evidence, Then People Are Tweeting About It
— RedBullMusicAcademy (@RBMA) November 25, 2015
People only tweet truth things. It's illegal to tweet false things.
I rest my case.
Follow Joe on Twitter.