Auckland Rental Opportunity of the Week: Portacom Paradise

Even former international cricketer, AM co-host, and sports know-it-all Mark Richardson conceded on live television that renting is the only way for people to find a home in Auckland. That is for those of us who didn't 'buy buy buy' prior to the great property boom of the mid 2010's.

To paraphrase: There's no point in trying to get on the property ladder now, you missed your chance, so grab a snack and get in line for a rental.

And with that in mind, here's something a little special on the Papakura city fringe.
Are you mature, clean, tidy and able to present good references?
Read on for a slice of paradise…

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Advertised as a 'cabin', this is a bachelor/ette pad that's only a short 25-minute drive from the city centre in off-peak times (and marginally less if you are in a hurry and speed dangerously down the motorway).

Yes, it's NZ$245 dollars per week, but that's for your own little sliver of the Kiwi Dream at the backend of the landlord's property, and includes power and water. And the hidden benefits? You get to access their swimming pool in the summer (not pictured) and can use their dryer and washing machine all year round (availability pending). Unlock a special relationship with the person you pay the rent to as they're so handy they may as well be your neighbour, let's call him/her Adrian.
Laugh by the pool with Adrian, or share a Steinlager on the deck while you chew the fat and soak in the serenity.

Let's take a virtual tour through the different zones:

THE LOUNGE
Partly furnished minimalist charm with retro flooring and flair!

Is that human shit on the ground? Hard to say, but it's nothing a quick dose of Handy Andy couldn't fix to expose a great covering of vintage lino that has stood the test of time. But save a buck and borrow it from Adrian's disinfectant stash in the laundry which is merely footsteps from the front door!
If you are lacking furniture for the big move, it looks like they have got you covered with the basics too. Head by Briscoes to pick up three more chairs to complete the set for entertaining, then decorate accordingly.

THE KITCHEN
A homemaker's dream with European-style mezzanine storage

Look at those power sockets and imagine the huge potential for an array of appliances to turn this kitschy kitchen into a hotspot for slow cookers, Nutri-bullets and other culinary mod-cons! What it's lacking in pantry space it more than makes up for with a progressive shelving unit above the sink. Fine dining abounds, and once those intoxicating cooking smells travel out the front door, you know who will come a knocking (the landlord. Aka Adrian. Just situated by your house. Out the front.)

THE BATHROOM
Luxury fittings galore highlight this compact comfort station

Looking at that shower screams relaxation and opulence of the highest order. A pampering ledge with additional shower nozzles provide the perfect respite for after a hard day at the office. An honourable mention too, to the Lynx Africa-esque bottle of shower gel left in shot (direct enquiries can be made to the landlord in regard to the gel's availability and/or inclusion in weekly rent). With the vanity elegantly squeezed into this bathroom, everything is within an arm's reach. And if there are any plumbing issues, no need to call a handyman, just yell directly from the shower "Adrian! We've sprung a leak!"

THE DECK
Flora and architecture intertwine for grandiose outdoor living

This looks to be the spot for summer, with a sprawling deck, retractable hammock and a garden of exotic plants highlighted by Mediterranean terracotta.
Not to mention that picket fence you always dreamed of, and don't forget that pool…
Or simply put your feet up and gaze directly into Adrian's house to see what plans he/she has on a cheeky Friday night.

And there you have it, an attainable and cosy suburban haven for one, that is brimming with the essential amenities.
Get away from the city, but still have it handy for business or pleasure. Not that you will need to leave home to find either.