An Interview with Helmand Province's Longest Serving Point Man

Kenny in Sangin, Helmand province in June 2007.

Mark Townsend's brilliant book Point Man tells the story of Kenny Meighan, a young infantry soldier in the British army. Kenny, who comes from a long line of soldiers, started his combat career in Iraq in 2005. But the book focuses on his time in Helmand province, Afghanistan as the British army's longest serving point man – the most exposed and dangerous position in a military patrol, the soldier who roams some distance ahead of the patrol as a lookout.

Among many things, Townsend’s book looks at what it means for a soldier to kill another soldier, at what battle feels like and what it's like to come home having witnessed things most people don't even see in their worst nightmares. It tells of a government willing to send young men and women to war, but unwilling to help them once they come home.

Kenny’s father John, who fought in Northern Ireland and the first Iraq war, plays second lead in Point Man. Suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder following his discharge, John’s treatment was deemed too expensive and he ended up in prison. I interviewed both John and Kenny. Below is the chat I had with Kenny, who asked only that I didn’t "glorify war".

You can read the interview with John, Kenny's father, here.

Kenny at the Sangin base after a patrol of Helmand province.

VICE: Mark Townsend's book is called Point Man. Could you explain the role of the point man in the infantry?
Kenny Meighan: The point man is at the front of the patrol looking for the enemy. His job is inevitably the most dangerous. I’m being bigheaded, but you’re the first to go in to a room, you’re the first to clear a ditch and you’re the first to go in the rat holes because you’re the best.

What do you think makes a good soldier?
Loads of things, but I think you have to really care. Not just about yourself, but about the blokes around you and the uniform you're wearing. I love my country, not because of politicians – most of them turn out to be pretty lame – but because the people who live in this country are extraordinary.

Did you feel let down by politicians when you were out fighting in Afghanistan?
Speak to any soldier and they’ll tell you that, when they’re fighting on the frontline, politicians never enter their head. Politicians get all the glory or trouble from the public if the battle is won or lost, but they’re not the ones who won or lost it, so we never get involved in that stuff.

Your family have been soldiers for centuries, which is something you’re very proud of, isn't it?
Yeah, the family name is something to link on to and something to be proud of. My family have fought in every major conflict this country has ever had. That’s a bit of an achievement.

And, of course, conflict has changed so much. I was struck by something you said in the book about improvised explosive devices (IEDs) being immoral. Could you explain that?
I can't fight an IED, so it irritates me. I know we have Apaches and all that, but I've never shot at anyone who didn't have a rifle and wasn't aiming at me. Nine times out of ten they shoot at us first, so I see that as someone down the street who's going to punch me in the face and I have to stop him. Whereas the IED is just lying there waiting to blow someone up.

An 18-year-old Kenny on his first military tour in Basra, Iraq.

Yeah. What were the differences between life in Basra and in Helmand?
When I was in Basra, even though it was hard graft, it was very limited in terms of combat. I never even fired my rifle at another human being in Iraq, but then other soldiers were getting shot at in the same cities on nearly a daily basis. When I went to Helmand in 2007, it was more vicious. The Taliban had a foothold and a lot of resources and they weren’t willing to give them up. So my tour in 2007 was all-out, operational war with sticks and bayonets. I didn’t even have a bayonet issued to me in Iraq.

Did you ever have to actually use a bayonet?
No. A couple of people who served with me did, but I never had to. The British army is one of the last armies to use the bayonet, which seems like a weird throwback. But when you see British soldiers running around with six-inch blades attached to their guns, they're looking ready to mix it, you know what I mean? It gives you the edge in the battle.

Was the prospect of having to use one something that worried you?
Yeah, I was terrified on a daily basis about everything, but I was more than capable and prepared because I wanted to go home. I knew I had to do my job. If somebody is willing to take my life, I have to defend myself. The British army always says this, and I say it, too – I've never seen a Taliban soldier or members of the public get abused. I know it’s happened on the odd occasion, but I think we've done pretty well out in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So you’re saying you never witnessed any incidents of immoral or out of control behaviour?
For example, we'll be getting shot at and we'd fire grenade launchers, then they'd fire rocket propelled grenade launchers, so we'd fire rocket launchers back at them. Some tabloids would say that we're overreacting, but you just try lying there and watch someone fire rockets at you.

Yeah, I’d be interested to see a tabloid journalist out there.
I’ve met journalists like you and I’ve had Mark Townsend with me, and they’re just as terrified as we are. I was scared because I knew what I was embarking on could have ended my life, but I was still willing to do my job every day. But I tell you, when I was entering buildings, kicking down the doors and storming in there I was shitting myself. I wished I was at home playing FIFA.

Kenny displaying his Afghan campaign medal in November, 2007, four months before he left the army.

Of course. I was wondering if you could tell me about the first time you killed an enemy soldier? 
The first man I killed accepted, as a solider, that he could be killed. He knew the risks and I knew the risks. If I didn’t do what I had to do to him, he would do it to me. You feel shit, you know what I mean? It's hard. But when people say, “Can you sleep at night?” Yes, I can sleep at night. That doesn’t mean I don’t ever think about it, but the simple fact is that life has to go on. It’s like when someone loses their mother or father – they grieve and they grieve, and eventually, even though you’ve never forgotten about them, you learn how to get on without them.

Almost all nations ask people to do this on their behalf, and then – and this happened with your father and his post-traumatic stress disorder – once they're out of the army, they're abandoned.
If the British public were shown what really happens out there, I guarantee they would help. One of my good friends got back from Afghanistan, got pissed up and stepped into the middle of the road because he didn't want to live any more. That young man could be put on the straight and narrow, or they could at least do something for him. The ones who aren't strong enough to push on get left behind, which is why there are so many suicides.

Yeah. And there's a legacy to having killed someone. When you're back at home – when you’re in the queue for Asda, or whatever – does it come back into your mind? Does it feel like it’s worth it?
I’ve been asking myself these same questions. I think I’m just getting to grips with it. I was looking at a photo of myself and a good friend who was killed in Afghanistan, and there’s this other geezer who's kicking off because he got out of work ten minutes later than usual. I thought, 'Oh my god, you’re probably gonna go home tonight, have a hot bath and a nice meal. And you’re whinging about having to work ten minutes over?' I flipped out a bit, but then I try to look at it from someone else’s perspective. It's a hard thing to talk about.

Do you have flashbacks to your time in Afghanistan?
Yeah, they went away, but they’ve come back. I had a couple today, but they’re not as long – a second or two long. Last night I was plastering my hallway when I heard a firework go off, and I was off under the kitchen table. I thought I was under fire. But the thing is, and the reason why I found it funny, is because I knew the fireworks were going off. I’m fine when I see them, but when the odd one goes off, it catches me out.

Do you feel like there are things you carry from war that you won't be able to get off your back?
I’ll never be able to get them off my chest. You try to get it out your head, but it's hard when you're trying so hard to have a normal life at the same time. I was driving once and I couldn’t get Helmand province out my head. I didn’t see the road, I just saw Helmand – it was doing my head in, it was making me angry. The first thing I talk about with someone is Helmand, but you shouldn’t be going out and talking about fucking war, should you?

Kenny in a foxhole in Sangin, Helmand province in August of 2007.

In the book, you describe going to the recruitment officer when you were 14 and asking them what qualifications you needed. They just said nothing, right?
Yeah, and I was like, “That’s all I need to hear." But, to this day, I love what the British army stands for. I think it’s amazing and I love being a part of it: the finest, most professional unit in the world. Blokes will say the British army is bullshit for certain reasons, and some of it is, but I do miss the bonding that you get. Instead of asking your missus if you can go down the pub, you can all go out, you know what I mean? Going to war is the most exciting thing you can embark on, but when you get there you wish you never fucking went.

What does it feel like to have bullets literally passing by your ears?
One of my dad’s friends, Ian Harvey, said to me when I was about 14, “You know you’ve made it, boy, because you hear the crack. If you don’t hear the crack," he said, “you're dead.” It’s basically the bullet breaking the sound barrier, going past your head and making a “click click” sound. If you hear that you know you're alright.

One of the most difficult passages in the book is one where you carry a dismembered body away from the line of fire.
Yeah. We were getting into our sleeping bags one night and a bomb went off in the distance. We got to where it went off and there was no fighting, just a small area cordoned off with a couple of troops and these women who'd been blown to bits. Then there was one guy getting treated in the back of a wagon and this British sergeant, who was a scary motherfucker usually, but he looked sad. Then there was this other guy scraping flesh off the back of the wagon. All of a sudden, bullets start coming down on us. Tacticians say you should forget about the gunned down and fire back, but as a human being, a British soldier and a fellow comrade, I felt I had to put this poor guy in a body bag and send him back to his family. I had to grab bits of his body and get them in the bag.

So you were putting different bits of a body into the bag?
Well, I picked up the biggest bit. The sergeant was scraping the shared meat, or whatever it was. God, it’s fucked up. I was just picking up bits of the blown-up willy and thinking, 'Oh my god, that’s fucking horrendous.'

Jesus. There’s a nice little scene where you find a massive load of weed. Would you guys get high when you weren’t on duty?
I never smoked any when I was out there and I know none of my friends ever smoked any. I ain’t telling you no British soldier picked up a bit of marijuana. If it ain’t gonna hurt no one and you have it off duty in your block, then good luck to you, mate. But if you get caught on the front line smoking any reefer or drinking alcohol or taking any mind-altering drugs, you wouldn’t have just been gripped by the army, you would have let everyone down.

Kenny on his wedding day.

In terms of unwinding out there, you're not technically allowed to drink, right?
Obviously if a crate of beer comes down, the temptation for some would have been greater than others. And sometimes the sergeant major would come down with a crate of beers and give it to the lads. But I think if someone had put a crate of beer down in front of us when I was in Afghanistan in 2007, no one would have touched it.

Because it’s too important that you're on your game?
Every day, mate, I swear to god. I was out there six months and there were only four weeks where I didn’t have to engage my rifle – two of those I was back in England. I was engaging my rifle nearly every day. Have you ever been in a scrap? Do you know that adrenaline that comes through you – the fear? You feel scared but strong. That's exactly the same feeling you get out there.

So you constantly have that fear and those emotions when you're fighting?
Yeah, and that’s what makes it so hard. And then it’ll drain away from you. Fucking hell, man – you’ve gotta get up the next day and sometimes you’ll do that three times in a day. You’ll get up in the morning, then a lull. And then again in the afternoon. And then a lull. And then you’ll do it again in the evening. The Taliban were doing it on purpose because they’re trying to break you.

Do you think the Taliban can be defeated?
You will never defeat the Taliban because it's not our job to defeat the Taliban. Our job is to give the Afghan police and government a foothold and the strength to allow them to do that themselves. That’s the only way they're going to be defeated. You have to get regular, clean policemen to patrol the streets and nick all these people, then they'll eventually die out because people will stop supporting their cause.

What was your experience of working with Afghan troops like?
I had a couple of battles alongside the Afghan army. Generally speaking, they're fucking mental. Then you train them better and they’re pretty good lads. Actually, they're still fucking mental. We got into a firefight once and one of them – that bit from Saving Private Ryan; I swear to god I witnessed something like that – the Afghan army running towards the Taliban with a roll of grenades on their shoulder. They're really religious men, so they think they’re going to Allah. They might be right, but I’d rather go to him when I’m 70 than 18.

Thanks for talking to me, Kenny.

You can read the interview with John, Kenny's father, here.

Follow Oscar on Twitter: @oscarrickettnow

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