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The Blob Blog - Attempt #2

I’m in as much shock as you about this, but VICE haven’t cancelled me yet!
March 26, 2012, 5:45pm

Hey Blobbers! I’m in shock as much as you about this, but VICE haven't cancelled me, which is great news for all involved (ie ME). Here are some photos from my week. Enjoy!

I ended up at some underground hippie squat rave in Brixton. There were people doing poi, hula-hooping and smoking bongs. There was also this really weird wall painting of (what I’m assuming) is their God? Some kind of pigman with breasts. Pretty cool. Will came with me. He is so lazy that he can’t even move his head to drink his beer. This is why all of his clothes are covered in little beige stains and smell like pub toilets. He is a pub toilet of a human being. This skate spot is in Kirkby near Nottingham. It was built as a skatepark which is pretty fucked up as it’s rough as a bastard. The rest of the park has been demolished and we had to climb a fence to skate it, which made me feel like a badass. We were driving to loads of little spots around Nottingham in Callun’s car. His boot is full of skateboard bits, lights, petrol and porn. In more urgent news, my housemate Ben grew a beard. He has now shaved it off, but I thought I’d show it to you guys anyway. Comment on the beard below? Dwayne has dyed his hair blonde/ ginger. He’s been going on about this for years, I think it’s influenced by Jerry Hsu doing it ages ago. He needs to bleach it one more time and then it'll be just perfect. Isn't he a cutey? For St Paddy’s Day we did all the stereotypical Irish stuff, like drinking shit loads of Guinness and watching the rugby (which England won, thank fuck). I have no idea why, but we ended up drinking on Carnaby Street where we met this odd couple who had dressed up. We asked them to kiss Josh on the cheeks, but they scrunched up their faces and refused. One pub got the day wrong. Idiots!

We woke up Friday and all of a sudden it's summer and we’re skating in shorts and eating ice-cream all day. I thought this never happened, like it’s some kind of old wives tale' within skateboarding. I never thought anyone could be that stupid. Well, apparently George can, because here he is putting his truck on the wrong way round. Stoked that I was there to capture this moment in his life. Some of that self-promotion I warned you about… A wizard turned up at Stockwell. No big deal. All sorts of people pass through there on a regular basis. The wizard was in a pretty great mood, but for some reason his eyes were red and really, really small.

Obviously I needed to get a photo of Dwayne and the wizard together. It’s a blogger's dream come true! Blob time!

Seeing as NOONE suggested an article for me to blob this week, I chose the one about those Peruvian villagers who meet up every Christmas morning to beat the crap out of each other, and the dead birds and fighting masks they wear strapped to their heads.

It must have been pretty hard for him to get the mask on as he has no definable head. But at least he looks cool. Right? Next week I’m going to do an article from The Holy Trinity issue. Either Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’, Ninety-Minute Bigots or A Few Pieces of Toilet Paper. Thanks for reading, I hope you feel enlightened and are gradually starting to look past the blobs' hideous looks.

Follow Sam on Twitter: @sptsam