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Everyone we contacted seemed to immediately grasp what we were after. Nobody thought that it was weird. You got the impression that this was a topic of discussion, hair stylist-wise.If you want The Harper, you have to ask for The Harper. Though Terry suggested that one could achieve Prime Minister-esque results by requesting an “outdated, old-school haircut,” and Lisa alluded to the existence of a shadowy, pre-Harper era wherein one might have requested “the ‘80s news anchor,” both knew exactly what I meant by The Harper, and they knew how to make it happen.
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The Harper isn’t going to work for just anybody. Though outwardly egalitarian, the Prime Ministerial style requires that you bring a few things to the table.In Ottawa, Amir emphasized that Stephen Harper is “the leader of the country [and] one of the most important people in the world,” adding that: “for a man in his position, with his responsibilities, this is the right cut.”What about you, though? Are you important enough for this cut? Do you think you have the right sort of responsibilities?Do you even have the right sort of hair?According to Lisa, if you want The Harper, “your hair has to be straight and quite thick–lustrous, even” (Lisa also wanted us to emphasize that she doesn’t think Stephen Harper is personally “lustrous,” but his hair sort of is).Has anyone ever described you as “lustrous”?Be Bold And Courageous And Defiant
Like the mysterious creation of Stephen Harper himself, the Prime Ministerial hairstyle is an effort of pure will. Terry was most emphatic about this, noting (with some exasperation) that “It’s not cut right… it just doesn’t go, it doesn’t flow… it shouldn’t be.”On a more specific note, Lisa perceived something especially nature-defying about that almost lewdly curvaceous sweep that covers the PMs forehead, stating that: “You would have to apply A LOT of hairspray for that… he has A LOT OF LENGTH in the front… he probably has to hairspray it up so he doesn’t look emo.”
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This is the big one. Though Terry, Lisa, and Amir all felt capable of re-creating The Harper, there remains the question of maintenance: sure, you can get The Harper. But does this mean that you can be The Harper?As Amir, whose salon is located just a few short blocks from Parliament Hill, explained “I have politicians that come in here, and they have very, very busy lifestyles.” This is important to remember: The Harper is not the creation of one man, one hairdryer, and a mirror. It is a team effort.It is a great Canadian industrial accomplishment.While Lisa was explaining the intricacies of the “Harper hairspray program,” I foolishly interjected, asking her if she thought he really stood there, day in and day out with a roller brush, adjusting his forelocks (while possibly listening to Tiffany).I was naive. “His people do it for him,” she explained in a slightly-embarrassed-for-me tone. Terry confirmed this, adding that the sweeping proto-fringe that is perhaps The Harper’s signature gesture is very, very unlikely to occur naturally. “He has someone work on that,” said Terry. “If that’s natural, I’d be very impressed.”
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For citizens of sophisticated, advanced nations like Canada, new scientific tricks and techniques are going to continue presenting us with strange products and weird spectacles, and it is up to us to recognize them for the modern wonders that they are.Not everyone can get The Harper. But if you are ready to give it a shot, Canada’s top hairstylists are up to the task. The Harper may be strange, it may be foreign-seeming, and it may even be a little frightening -- but as an option, it’s on the table.After all, it’s just hair.It’s actually real human hair.It has DNA in it.Previously:Stephen Harper Likes Pandas More than Idle No MoreSun Media Is in it for the LulzRob Ford Has a Terrible Photographer