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J.R. Smith: Dope
Fan: ^_^
J.R. Smith: Oh really
Fan: Oh really what [smirk emoji]
J.R. Smith: You trying to get the pipe?Now, J.R. Smith was not the first person to use the internet to ask a total stranger if they wanted to fuck, and he was certainly not the last. But the confidence with which he posed the question, the degree to which he escalated what began as a benign interaction into an offering of sex, the sheer audacity it takes to refer to your dick as a pipe, the way J.R. joked about it on Instagram afterward… Is it any wonder the line became a catchphrase and then a T-shirt?
According to a certain kind of crude male logic, if you go up to a thousand strangers and ask all of them to have sex with you, at least one will eventually say "Yes," even if you get several hundred "Nos" before that. In real life, this would be extremely time-consuming, not to mention skeezy, and might very well get you maced or arrested. Online, this behavior is still skeezy, but it's much easier to ask for sex, especially if you're as famous as J.R. Smith.What We Can Learn: J.R. Smith being J.R. Smith, the story was treated as a joke, but bluntly asking someone if you can present your genitals to them via Twitter DM is really fucking crazy and borderline predatory—even if you're a famous and shameless NBA player. You're just not supposed to act that way, unless you're on a site where it's expected that you'll be sending sexually explicit messages back and forth with other consenting adults.On Motherboard: Cyborg Combat Critters
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Recommended: The Digital Love Industry
Case Study: This summer, a writer named Grace Spelman aired out a dude named Ben Schoen on Twitter. Spelman claimed that Schoen, a former host of the Harry Potter podcast Mugglecast, had been harassing her online, and had the screenshots to prove it. Schoen claimed that he'd simply been trying to interface with Spelman because he wanted to do business with her and it was all a misunderstanding. However, that didn't account for his frequent messages across several different platforms or him calling her "the one" and joking that they should get married. And nothing can account for him using the phrase, "You removed me from Facebook in a ghostly manner" in an email to Spelman.What We Can Learn: When it comes to online interaction, intent matters way less than interpretation. Schoen might not have made a conscious decision to harass Spelman, but when someone looks at the mass of messages he sent her—some flirty, some mean, some aggressive, some just downright desperate—it's hard to take it as anything other than harassment.It's not OK to force someone to interact with you, regardless of the circumstances. It's like approaching a table in a coffee shop and trying to force the stranger already sitting down to talk to you.Eventually, everyone will realize that when it comes to romance online, the rules of engagement remain the same. There's a right and a wrong time for everything, and just because acting like a goon online doesn't immediately get slapped for their creepiness doesn't make it any less real. I never thought I'd type this sentence, but we should all take notes from the World of Warcraft couple: They used the internet to find someone they shared a connection with, didn't encroach upon each other's space, and now have reached an enviably high level of happiness.Follow Drew on Twitter.