Steve Goes to the Mayor

Like any other local schmo looking to get his big project off the ground, Steve Jobs came to the Cupertino city council the other night to unveil his solution to an expanding workforce at Apple: a utopian 12,000-person headquarters, designed by Norman Foster with Jobs' active input (of course), that would look like a giant UFO landing facility – or a monument to the iconic iPod wheel – in the middle of a bucolic landscape of trees and apricot orchards. Apple may be expanding into the iCloud, but "we need all the space we can get," he explained.

Without a giant screen, a laser pointer, or spotlights – and in front of an overhead projector no less – it may go down as the CEO's most understated demo ever. The reality distortion field, however, was still Darth Vader-strong. This would be "the best office building in the world," he told the council, and they all seemed to agree. When a council member voiced the big obvious concern – whether Apple's expansion would bring increased vehicle traffic to the area – Jobs rejected that idea. "We're not increasing the employment by much," he said. "It's by, like, 20 percent. We're not increasing it by much." Heads nodded in assent. There would not an increase in traffic.

Cupertino hasn't much choice here. Apple is the largest taxpayer, owns or rents 60 buildings in town, and puts the city's name on all of its products. "If you're going to be linked to a company, we're happy that it's Apple," a council member beamed. "It's so, well, pretty," said another councilman. "'Wow!' is the operative term," said another. "While some people might wonder why a CEO would get so involved at such a level of detail around a company headquarters, with Steve, it's not surprising at all. He's an integral part of Apple's product design, and this building is just their latest product." No detailed plans have been unveiled yet for the massive building (which, in its rare scale, reminds me of Rem Koolhaas' spectacular China Central Television headquarters) but it seems safe to say that Jobs will get his wish.

Still, the king of Apple was in no mood to grant the city council its own wishes. One member hoped that Apple would install free wifi around the city, a la Google's gift to Mountain View. "I think we bring a lot more than free wifi," Jobs replied through a grin. The mayor also hoped that Jobs "would give back to the community" – in the form of a local Apple store, of course. Jobs rejected that bit of philanthropy too. When the mayor suggested that the city could help, the CEO stared at the ground. "If we thought it would be successful, we'd love to." The reason it wouldn't, he explained: not enough traffic.