
Cesc Fabregas’ return to Arsenal will probably be the main story this weekend, and while there are usually some mixed emotions in these cases, it’s unlikely here. Sure, when he’d moved back to his boyhood club and showed up back at the Emirates bronzed with all his pals, some polite applause was only well, polite. But now he’s with Chelsea, and looking like the sense of betrayal has already taken its toll on his appearance, there’s only one way it’s going to go.
Advertisement
There's something that has eluded a lot of people assuming that the next bad result would do for Alan Pardew. And that is Mike Ashley. Publicly declaring that a hated manager is about to get the chop and then doing nothing would probably be the most Mike Ashley move there is. His loyalty to the man probably won’t extend to taking Newcastle down, but there are a few yuks to be eked out yet, and Ashley knows this. Also, as Pardew himself noted this week, the media "won't leave Newcastle alone" at the moment – so, if there's any truth in the Geordie conspiracy theory of Ashley only being interested in the club as an advert for his sports shop, keeping the manager around may help him shift a few more Slazenger tube socks.
Advertisement
Perhaps something else Arsenal fans ought to be concerned about is Manchester United’s blatant theft of their identity. A radical foreign manager veering between brilliance and spineless capitulation, brushing off the latter with talk of his “philosophy”, trying out as many kids as possible while trying not to completely crack as he sees the leader of his side limp off with an injury… If Van Gaal was going to emulate Wenger, he could at least have given us the Highbury years first.Aside from the obvious flaws – Rooney is terrible, Chris Smalling and Phil Jones are awful, Daley Blind is too slow to be the only person who defends – United have also suffered injuries. Which is weird, because Toshiba Medical Systems said there wouldn’t be any injuries this year, and who are we to argue with them? The squad is so Rizla-thin that Rafael and Jonny Evans are lynchpins upon whom the whole fragile edifice depends. Herrera is another of these, and without him United cease to really be a team any more, resembling instead a side that have just had four players sent off, or are playing in a blizzard, just a bunch of guys on a football pitch with a passing collective interest in getting the ball in one of the nets. This one probably isn't going to be pretty.
Advertisement
Sunderland vs. Stoke has been the worst fixture in the Premier League for years. They pushed the boat out in 2011 with a 4-0 and a 3-2, but other than that, in their Premier League encounters it’s been a drab, sordid array of 1-0s, 0-0s and 2-0s. The games were essentially a bad caricature of English football, however smug Barcelona fan must imagine that all Premier League games are, an aimless sequence of hoofs, sliding-tackles, screamers flying into the car park and full-backs kicking into touch.We can probably expect the same in 2014, to be honest, although we’ll have Bojan, Emmanuel Giaccherini and Ricky Alvarez also doing it. We haven’t yet seen the full effect of the new TV deal in the Premier League, but the most striking change is probably not going to be Falcao being followed up with Cristiano Ronaldo, and Messi joining Man City – instead, we can look forward in the future to Sunderland-Stoke featuring Arda Turan, Bernard and whatever other former Football Manager legends the proceeds have been spunked on. And they’ll still probably be hitting Crouch with a long diagonal.Spurs Being Weird
This weekend also sees the premier instalment of the soon-to-be world-renowned Mauricio Pochettino derby. The Argentinian has gone from getting Southampton to play pretty well, to getting Tottenham to play pretty well, if they were Southampton.
Advertisement