San Francisco-based psych-garage rockers Thee Oh Sees just released a hot as fuck video for their new track “Lupine Dominus.” Translated that means something like “Wolf God.” Yes, Wolf God. Now I just wanna nail this skinny dude in a bathroom stall, suck out every ounce of his bratty, daring soul and leave him slumped over the toilet. Then I’ll drag him home and he’ll live in my closet, periodically fucking me etc., when I say so, until further notice.
“This skinny dude” is our modern-day Detlev--hustling young boy meat with a black eye who goes dumpster diving at the Fantasy Zone, a seedy strip club straight out of Goodfellas--all skank wood paneling and chintz Christmas lights. Yea, you’ve got your dancer girls Fawn and Cinnamon cooze-sliding down the pole and dry humping for dollahs in their t-bars. Whatever. Fuck that. Just gimme the dom nerd boy who’s got the balls to gay-skeeze on a mustached NASCAR sub in a muscle tee. Who’s the bitch now, bitch?
So, it’s like this. Detlev keeps making fuck-me eyes at NASCAR as they sit at the bar half-ass watching the pole pussy. Detlev leans over and NASCAR gets all manimal to show that “Hell no, I’m not a fag, you jacked up nerd.”
But don’t underestimate Detlev, NASCAR, cuz he controls that shit. And he controls you. (You know you want it, dumbass.) Then enraged NASCAR shoves Detlev. “Stop eye-fucking me!” Then NASCAR stomps off to WHERE? The men’s bathroom of course--and proceeds to take a Grade A cocksucking from Detlev that is clearly not your typical “gay for pay” cum swap. NASCAR gets angry and hits the wall with his fist during said blow job, “Fuck you, jacked up nerd for giving it so good. I love you.” Moral of the story? Never underestimate the power of a skinny, jacked up nerd.