Watch Other People Get Engaged on Instagram and Start to Prang Out About It

This is the worst one because whether you’re single and loveless and genuinely thinking about the PornHub Premium subscription or whether you’re in a relationship and trying quite hard, for whatever reason you’ll go on Instagram at the end of the day and get suddenly quite depressed about how you spent the day compared to everyone else. So like: someone you went to school with got engaged. Or like: you’ll see a load of Gucci bags arranged on a hotel bed by a girl you saw piss herself in uni. Someone with an enormous bunch of flowers delivered to work thanks #ThisOne. That thing that couples do where they sit across the table from each other at a restaurant and stare deeply, flirtily, lovingly into a camera lens, and then you look back at that, and it’s sort of like you are at the table, with them, in love with them, and it’s actually a little disorientating. Everyone seems to have had a better meal than you. Everyone seems just… just an inch or two prettier than you. Is everyone having more fun than you? Really really seems like everyone’s having more fun than you. Anyway get over it mate if you’ve not figured out how much of a scam social media is yet you never will.

YOU’VE WON VALENTINE’S DAY BY NOT! FALLING! FOR! THE! HYPE!