'There are Boobs Everywhere!' Inside Golf's Beer-Soaked Tournament of Fun

What if I told you that somewhere in the desert there is a professional golf tournament where the Coors Light flows like water; where the fashion is more Coachella than Nantucket; and where over a half million people show up each year to party?

"Be the 9th or 18th caller and you'll win a pair of tickets to this weekend's Waste Management Phoenix Open courtesy of Rockstar!" The disc jockey from KUPD, 97.9 Tempe radio screams at me as I roll up to the parking lot of TPC Scottsdale for the 2015 Waste Management Phoenix Open.

It's a strange time to be in the Phoenix-metro area. Tiger Woods is making his return to the tournament after a 15 year absence and the XLIXth edition of the Super Bowl is taking place a stone's throw away at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale. The course and the stadium are actually about 27 miles apart, but in a metropolis (I use the word lightly) where everything is roughly a 30-40 minute drive, they might as well be next door neighbors. Phoenix proper, appropriately, is about 30 minutes away from both sporting meccas.

"Stick around, because in the next hour we're giving away tickets to see Kid Rock Friday night at the TPC Coors Light Birds Nest."

Did Arizona's "real rock" station just say Kid Rock is going to be playing a concert on PGA tournament grounds? Yes, it did.

Has the show been sold out for over two months? Yes, it has. (Did he play "Bawitdaba"? Yes, he did.)

Earlier in the week, Arizona State grad Phil Mickelson gushed about how he loved playing in this "homecoming" event, and after swatting away questions about a tooth he recently lost, Tiger Woods told reporters it was "great to be back." He smiled a once-again-complete smile as he spoke about his memorable hole-in-one on the 16th hole in 1997. He was so excited he thought he broke his caddie Mike "Fluff" Cowan's hand on the ensuing high-five. He also reminisced about the smell of beer being thrown around behind him.

"Back in 97, they didn't have the bleachers around the tee box. It was a hill and people were partying. I don't know if they still serve alcohol like they used to, because that was a pretty…" Tiger trailed off, trying to be careful in the way he portrayed what is still a professional golf tournament. "The guys who were playing behind me had some pretty wet lies."

Double entendre aside, by now you've probably surmised that the Waste Management Phoenix Open is not your father's golf tournament. The irony of promoting sustainability initiatives on a golf course in the desert (the Phoenix Open is a "zero waste" tournament) notwithstanding, it's a sponsor-heavy, unpretentious boozefest that could rival any NASCAR race. This, of course, is not how the PGA, and professional golfers in general, see their sport. Nor is it the reality. Stuffy at best, a symbol of white privilege at its worst, golf has long been viewed as the sport of the entitled, where private clubs with exorbitant member fees are meant to be a fiscal barrier for the everyday hacker.

Yet it is the everyday hacker (and the non-golfer) who fills the gallery of TPC Scottsdale to record-setting levels. The 2015 Phoenix Open broke its own PGA Tour weekly attendance mark with a total of 564,368 people, up about .24 percent from last year's then-record 563,008.

"The Phoenix Open is the biggest party golf tournament of the year," says Alex Myers, editor of The Grind for GolfDigest.com.

Tournament Chairman Danny Calihan was a bit more reserved in his assessment. "We don't ever want the 'party' to overshadow the quality of play or players," he says. Still, he boasted of the broad demographic of those in attendance, and the fact that they were able to attract "81,300 in a rain storm on Friday and 83,500 on Super Bowl Sunday."

If, like the NFL, the PGA is a no fun league, then the Phoenix Open is golf's version of a Marshawn Lynch crotch-grab after a touchdown run. But don't expect any fines to be levied. Every sponsorship, concert ticket, beer, and general admission means cold hard cash for the PGA Tour. Forbes's Patrick Rishe estimates the total influx of cash the tournament brings into the Phoenix area at roughly $222 million, with over $8 million in sales tax alone. And with nearly a third of all tickets sold to people outside the state of Arizona, you could make an argument that the Phoenix Open is second only to the Masters as the top destination golf tournament in the world. What it lacks in lofty history and tradition, the Phoenix Open makes up for in pure entertainment value.

"Our sponsors love this." Calihan admits. He's not lying. The Phoenix Open has a sponsorship renewal rate over 90 percent—a fact that has not been lost on the PGA.

Golf is in the midst of an identity crisis. According to the National Golf Foundation, the sport has lost an estimated 5 million players globally in the last decade. Even in golf's birthplace of Scotland, club memberships have fallen by more than 50% as waiting lists have gone the way of the dodo. Many blame the sport's pretentious attitude. The aging decline of its biggest star, and the fans he helped usher in, hasn't helped either. One is left wondering about the economic ramifications if the golf world were to dull its luster, and invite the world in.

"Golf has to shed its image as a stuffy sport and the Phoenix Open is a perfect example of that," Myers says. "Crowds can be rowdy, but still respectful, and you don't have to be an avid golfer to appreciate the game."

"The PGA Tour recognizes that we have something very special and unique here," Calihan says. "In 2014, the PGA Tour named our event 'Tournament of the Year.' Over the years we've seen our ideas implemented at other Tour events, whether it's an after golf concert similar to our Coors Light Birds Nest or skybox seating around a short par 3."

"Other Tour events" are not exactly Sunday church services, but they do stay true to golf's staid image and identity. Narrated by the subtle timbre of Jim Nantz, pro golf tournaments are the very definition of tradition. Some unlike any other. But at the Phoenix Open, the tradition is partying and excess, and with attendance numbers increasing every year, the only way things will change is if the PGA decides to reign things in.

"The PGA Tour's fun police have actually cracked down a bit on the scene at TPC Scottsdale's 16th the past couple years," Myers says. "First, the caddie races were outlawed, and this year, players or caddies were prohibited from throwing things into the stands. In general, though, I think the Tour is happy with anything that brings fans—especially non-hardcore golf fans—through the gates."

"There are boobs everywhere!" Is how one spectator describes the general attire of his cohorts at the Open. Short skirts, jeggings, neon colors of all varieties, American flags on every conceivable piece of clothing, it's like Burning Man and Uncle Sam threw up all over the course. Rockstar energy girls in skin-tight gold and black spandex mingle among the jean-clad and sun-dressed, all under the watchful eye of the Silver Bullet. Of course, there are other sponsors on hand. Just as there are plenty of country club WASPs to wade through.

But this tournament belongs to the title sponsor: it's a weekend for drinking Coors Light before gleefully tossing your empties directly onto the course after a hole-in-one on the 16th.

The 16th hole at TPC Scottsdale is an incredible sight. The par 3 is surrounded by stadium seating that can accommodate upwards of 20,000 people. The larger the financial donor, the higher up in the stands you rest, while the general public is forced to slosh through the mud in a feeble attempt to enter the "The Coliseum." The rainy, sloppy conditions only reinforce the music festival atmosphere. Frat boys take wagers on which girls will fall in the mud. "Watch this one in white," one says. "Oh man, she's wearing heels."

In fact, most people here rarely seem to actually watch the golf being played in front of them. Being, of course, diligently at work, I take the opportunity to avoid the rain by finding my way into the hospitality tent. I take notes while dining on free steak and salmon. The drinks are equally complimentary, but to the tournament's credit, bartenders are required to keep tabs on how many drinks each patron has had by marking them on their vip badge.

There was definitely less Coors Light being swilled in these higher elevations, but it was under these same canvas awnings from whence the bottles rained after Francesco Molinari's hole-in-one. It's also worth noting that throwing a beer container from the stands will get you kicked out from just about every other major sporting event. On this day it's encouraged, in its own awkward and liberating way. Or maybe this is just the privilege of the wealthy and famous. And with the Super Bowl in town, the odds of bumping into a celebrity while inebriated is better than the Seattle Seahawks scoring from the 1-yard line. I'm pretty sure I spot Jerry Rice. I definitely overhear someone say they saw one of the Euros of Hollywood, whatever that is. And can you imagine another scenario where a 40-year-old golfer hosts a Super Bowl party and Rihanna shows up?

As for the golf, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson miss the cut and both vow to skip town before the Super Bowl. Woods's performance is actually a career worst. Meanwhile, 24-year-old Brooks Koepka takes home his first career PGA Tour title with a one-shot victory over Ryan Palmer, Bubba Watson, and Hideki Matsuyama. A fact that resonates with no one, except maybe Koepka and his family.

As I walk back to my car, the screams of the 16th hole arena fading into the background din of 100,000-plus people all talking at once, I ponder what sort of idiocracy the PGA fears Tour events might become if they all follow the example set forth by the Waste Management Phoenix Open. At once a refreshing change of pace and terribly cringe-worthy. If only there was some easy way to articulate the aura of a place that, even at its best, still feels slightly amiss, slightly… Arizonian. Then it hits me, like a flyer placed under the tips of my windshield wiper.