Musicians of the world,
If you have an Internet connection and are able to read this, you're no doubt already aware that Drake dropped a 17-track mixtape last night. Maybe you listened to it on the way to work or maybe you put it on at home, drew a crude "6" on a fogged up window, and whispered "she'll be back" to yourself over and over. However you & the 6 get down is nobody's business but your own, but what we're about to ask you to do is everyone's business: we want you to take the Ableton project file for your tropical house remix, select all of it (the whole thing), and throw it right in the trash.
Please. Please do not remix the new Drake mixtape. We understand that it has been out for hours already, but whatever future-bass flip of "No Tellin'" you're currently working on can wait a few days.
We're not saying you should never remix Drake--some of my best friends are Drake remixers. We're simply saying that good music—like fine wine—needs time. Releasing a remix of "Know Yourself" this soon after it was released is the musical equivalent of ordering dinner at Morimoto and having it come out right away. The ingredients might be great, but a real meal takes time.
Think back to April, 2013: You're at Coachella, you've done two tabs of acid (because of course you have), and you're grinding with some girl called Ashleigh (because of course she's called Ashleigh). Suddenly, Daft Punk's logo blazes on the light board; "Get Lucky's" now familiar guitar intro greets your ears. You and Ashleigh kiss. You're loving life. Daft Punk, baby! You get home, open Facebook to boast about hearing Daft Punk, and see that it has already been remixed. Your heart sinks. You listen to the remix—each off-beat hi-hat tap, tap, tapping away a little piece of your soul. You go to bed a broken man.
Please. Please do not make us go through this again.
We understand why you want to do it. Competition is fierce and whichever musician can remix the most relevant song the soonest will rise to the top of Hypem's charts, scooping up much needed klout. We're here to tell you that there's another way. A right way.
Put on If You're Reading This It's Too Late. Listen to it five, ten, or twenty times—however long you need. Let your ideas percolate. Wait a few more days, then ask yourself: "In my heart of hearts, do I think that I can make this song better?" If your answer is yes, we invite you to tweet your finished product at us. If your answer is no, nobody will judge you and we'll all be better off.
Ziad Ramley is on Twitter