Help, I'm Obsessed With My Aesthetic SimpleHuman Trash Can

Judge me not for the little trash goblin that I am; revere me for my excellent taste in luxury garbage cans. Here’s a fun fact I learned on TikTok this week: “Trash” is dry refuse and “garbage” is wet. (Who knew there was a difference?) Whether it’s handling trash or garbage (or both), let me introduce you to the reason I feel superior to all those plebes still using plastic (gag) bins: I’ve acquired a genuinely hot trash can. Listen, I enjoy the finer things in life, but when it comes to everyday household items, I’m (generally speaking) more of a dollar store queen than a custom-embroidered towel kinda gal. That said, the one thing I’m never going back on is my stunningly beautiful stainless steel trash can from SimpleHuman. 

I’ll admit, I’m too cheap to ever have bought a $80 trash bin on my own. I was grandfathered into this sexy can by a roommate that I am eternally indebted to. Now that it’s sitting in my kitchen, this might be the first time I’m admitting I’m happy to inherit a literal trash can. Not only does it jazz up the corner of your kitchen, but it’s also incredibly easy to use and eliminates day-ruining BS like coming home to a house wreaking of old tuna and fallen garbage bags that fill the bottom of your can with that special “trash juice” (I’ve got the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it). 

So, what’s so great about it? In addition to its handsome good looks, it has a foot pedal that never gets stuck, a soft-closed lid that never slams when you’re throwing out the wrappers of your late-night snacks, and an inner bucket made from 100% post-consumer recycled plastic. Some models feature built-in bag dispensers and amazing odor-eliminating pods that reside in the lid and neutralize trash-odor molecules. I am also obsessed with the fact that it has a little hole for twisting and stuffing any excess trash bag into so it won’t budge even when stuffed to the gills.

Even though my SimpleHuman trash can is quite seasoned at this point (it’s been around at least six years), it looks like it’s barely aged. It still functions fantastically. In my research for this magnum opus, I’ve discovered that many upgrades and innovations have taken place since it came into my possession. Not only has the brand redesigned the classic round bin that resides in my apartment to be sleeker and cleaner (an invisible silver ion coating resists fingerprints and the spread of germs), but SimpleHuman has also developed dual-compartment cans for easy recycling, built-in no-touch and voice-activated sensors, and compost caddies that attach to the side of your existing bin. 

If nothing else, my SimpleHuman garbage can still has plenty of life after years of use and a few moves. It has barely any scratches or dents on the exterior, and the step and soft-close still function beautifully—which is quite amazing considering the amount of Craigslist movers I’ve enlisted. Despite all that, I am ready to level-up to a can worthy of the International Space Station; forget Alexa—I want to talk to my SimpleHuman trash can, and yes, there is a smart model now with a motion sensor for touch-free opening and closing. 

If you think I’m crazy for wanting to shell out $200 on a fancy garbage bin, then call me cuckoo, because I’m all for everyday luxury items that make your life easier and the mundane tasks more bearable. Not to mention, every single rich person’s house I’ve ever walked into has SimpleHuman trash cans lurking in their kitchen, bathroom, laundry room, garage… you name it. I’m getting my futuristic trash can and then never buying another one again, because I’m pretty sure this SimpleHuman will last me the rest of my lifetime. 

I’d bet money that Beyoncé has a SimpleHuman trash can. 

Level up to a Simplehuman trash can at Simplehuman and Amazon.

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