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The Hangover News

UN inspectors were shot at in Syria, but you've probably been too drunk to notice.

Syrian Snipers
They were there to investigate the recent alleged chemical weapon attack


UN weapons inspectors were attacked by sniper fire in Damascus as they tried to enter the site of an alleged chemical weapon attack.

Syrian state television was quick to lay the blame on "terrorists" – their byword for rebels trying to topple Bashar al-Assad – but that protestation of innocence hasn't stopped both US Secretary of State John Kerry and British Foreign Secretary William Hague from accusing the Syrian government of being behind the recent chemical weapon attacks in the country.


According to the charity Médecins Sans Frontières, last week's attack – the most recent of the country's two-year civil war – killed around 350 people and left 3,600 needing treatment for "neurotoxic symptoms".

In response to the alleged use of chemical weapons, Western countries – including Britain, the US and France – are planning to take unilateral military action against Assad's regime at some point in the next couple of weeks.

Jail Diets 
He supposedly wants to move prisons and reckons not eating anything will help


Murderer Dale Cregan has gone on hunger strike at HMP Full Sutton, near York, in an apparent bid to be moved to Strangeways prison in Manchester.

The 30-year-old was jailed for life in June for the murders of a father and son and two unarmed policewomen who he had lured to a house while on the run.

Strangeways is closer to Cregan's home and family in Droylsden, Greater Manchester, which may explain why he wants the change of scenery, but local MP Jonathan Reynolds suspects he is merely doing it for the attention, saying, "He is clearly proud of the reputation he has gained, and this is now one of the few ways he has of getting the attention that he craves."

In other Cregan news, he is believed to be in segregation at Full Sutton to protect him from the reported £20,000 bounty on his remaining eye.

Crimes at Carnival
But a lot of people were arrested and the police did a dance again



No one was stabbed at this year's Notting Hill Carnival.

According to Kensington and Chelsea councillor Nicholas Paget-Brown, this year's Carnival was a storming success, with just over 100 arrests made on the Sunday.

"We're used to having a certain number of problems on both days of carnival, but I think by most years' measures yesterday must be seen as a good day," he said.

A Met Police spokesperson said that 6,000 officers were on duty on Sunday and that 7,000 would be patrolling the festivities on Monday.

As is now tradition, someone filmed the police doing a dance and put the video on YouTube – this year's being what looked like a pre-rehearsed rendition of the "row the boat" dance.

Political Campaigns
It's almost definitely going to get him elected to office


There's no better way to promote yourself as a legitimate political candidate than starring in an online rap video.

However, not many aspiring political leaders are as internet savvy as Julian Assange, which may be why he is the first to take the rap video route to pushing his WikiLeaks party's candidates in the forthcoming Australian election.

Assange made his musical debut in the latest video from Juice Rap News, in which the internet comedians parody the two principal election candidates, Labor's Kevin Rudd and the Liberal Tony Abbott, as well as former prime minister Julia Gillard.


After acting as hype man by throwing out phrases like "Good on ya!" and "Bloody oath!" from his room in London's Ecuadorian embassy, Assange is given a makeover (a mullet wig and a jean jacket) to help him appeal to "all the Sheilas and blokes back home in Oz" and lip-syncs to a parody of the 1980s Australian soft rock anthem "You're the Voice" by John Farnham.

His lyrics include the lines: "We've got to make things leak, so we can get much bolder / Oh we're all wire-tapped now, we're all being fed lies," and, "Not long till we get all the rats out."

Unfortunately for Assange, even if the tactic works and he is elected to senate, he is unlikely to be able to take his seat, as he cannot leave the Ecuadorian embassy without being arrested and deported to Sweden to face questioning over sexual assault allegations.

Extended Holidays
Adding weight to that old adage: never argue about slippers

(Photo via)


Two London women have said that an argument over slippers has left them unable to leave a Chinese city.

Esther Jubril-Badmos, 48, and Mary Idowu, 59, claim that an agreement to buy 20 pairs of slippers in Guangzhou, south China ended in the pair being assaulted by store staff.

When the two women lodged a complaint with the police, they were detained for overstaying their visas and held for 38 days, though no formal charges were made.

The pair are still stuck in China, but British consular official said that they were aware of the case and that the two women were receiving assistance.