Between mothers and daughters exists perhaps the most complicated relationship between any two people. It is one full of contrasts: often resentful, yet unconditional; tumultuous, yet nurturing; rocky, and yet still a source of comfort. Unless we divorce her, the longest relationship we'll ever have with anyone could likely be with our mom. And over the course of that lifetime comes change, complications, and—hopefully—maturity.
Along with these beautiful, feel-good qualities, the bond between a mother and daughter can also be weird and confusing. Why do you want to do everything with your mom even though she still treats you like you're seven? What would she think of you if she knew you who you were out with or what you were doing last night? How did she still love you after finding your journal entry where you wrote that she was a raging bitch 47 times in a row when you were 17?
I turned to the stars and our staff astrologer Annabel Gat to help us answer these questions and understand our relationships to our mothers by way of astrology.
From a young age, Aries are highly independent, says Gat. In kindergarten they wouldn't let their mom help them tie their shoes and in their early twenties they wouldn't let her move them into their first apartment. They're not keen on receiving advice, especially from their mom, and even when they know they need it. But, Gat reminds us that "Aries is still the first sign in the Zodiac, making them the baby of the Zodiac." In those rare times that Aries individuals find themselves at rock bottom or on the edge of a quarter life crisis, they're going to want their mommy and they're going to want her to coddle them. She will happily oblige as it isn't often mothers of Aries get to hold their headstrong, bossy children close.
Leos have a surprising relationship with their mothers. They may be the sunny sign that likes to party and be the center of attention, "but the energy between them and their mothers is actually one that's really deep, very profound: It's not a party," says Gat. Their relationship isn't in your face, rather she describes it as "strong, intimate, and emotional." Their spirituality does not consist of heading to 5 AM hot yoga together in trendy leggings. Instead, they're the type to stay up until the early hours of the morning talking about how to get the most out of the world in the time they have left. Their relationship wasn't always this way though; Leos tend to be a bit closed off from their mothers in their youth.
Watch: Meet the Vodou Priestess Summoning Healing Spirits in Post-Earthquake Haiti
Sagittarians and their mothers, however, are the mother-daughter duo headed to their weekly hot yoga class at 5 AM. They are likely to enjoy doing spiritual activities together. For example: engaging in hypnosis to remedy anxiety or going to the mosque together for Friday prayer. Words don't always suffice for Sags and their moms. They love to communicate with one another via art—be it painting, dancing, or whatever else works for them. "We think of Sagittarius people as being our loud mouthed friends, but their relationship with their mom is one which can be very nonverbal," says Gat. Some Sags consider their relationship with their mothers to be telepathic or even psychic. They often tend to feel like they know what the other is thinking.
"Taurus people are super chill," says Gat. "They usually get along with everyone and that includes their mom." Tauruses value having a mom who looks out for herself. They may like that she has a strong self-care routine and high self-esteem. Like most of us, when they see that their mom feels good about herself, they can't help but soak up some of that energy. Tauruses' moms can often get annoyed with their daughters' extremely chill attitudes, and when they do fight, their moms are usually begging them to be a little more proactive in life (and less high).
Virgo is considered the hermit of the Zodiac. Usually, Virgos enjoy calm environments and staying in. Interestingly, however, when they're with their mothers they're far more willing to travel farther and see more of what the world has to offer. They are the classic example of someone who comes alive when they are in their comfort zone and surrounded by familiarity, and when their mother is with them she does just that. Virgos' mothers are happiest when they're with their Virgo daughter—;they love to see the effects of the confidence that their presence brings.
A Scorpio's mom is kind of weird, obviously, because Scorpios are weird.
"Capricorns have a very fiery relationship with their mothers," says Gat. Their moms don't take shit and neither do they. As they say, the Capricorn doesn't fall far from her trailblazing mother. However, the intensity of a Capricorn's mother can get to them. Caps like predictability and consistency, and if those aren't on their mom's agenda, they are not happy. When they're getting a along, Caps and their moms have wild times together— it helps that their mothers rarely judge them too harshly. However, when they're unhappy with one another, a Cap's mom will have some biting words.
Geminis love to talk, and luckily, their mom is usually happy to entertain them. "They need to be able to tell their mom everything," says Gat. After years of practice raising a Gemini, a Gemini's mother tends to develop strong listening skills. Similar to Caps' moms, Gemini moms are fairly non-judgemental. This tends to work in Geminis' favor, as they can get themselves into trouble with the gossipy stories they tell their moms. Geminis aren't the most grounded sign, so their moms may often offer their daughters up some wisdom along the lines of, "Take a step back and calm down."
It's important for Libras to have a mom they can not only talk with about being out in the world and killing it, but one who also speaks from experience. They want to see their mom making a name for themselves, and they are in full admiration and awe of their mothers' professional accomplishments. Libra people try to be accommodating to everyone, so having a mother who puts accommodating herself first is the reminder they need to look out for themselves. "The bitchier their mom is, the more they're gonna love them— as long as they're not too bitchy towards them," says Gat.
Mothers of Aquarians have a lot of chill. They're "usually very sensual, very connected to themselves, very peaceful," says Gat. "Aquarius can be chill, but Aquarians also like to make wild inventions in their rooms and do cooking experiments." Their definitions of chill, however, differ. Essentially, neither is high strung, but Aquarians' mothers tend to care about things a little more than their daughters. Gat gives a nail salon analogy to describe their relationship: They both love to be pampered, she says, "but an Aquarius's mom is going to be like 'Oh my God, you painted your nails electric blue!' and the Aquarius is going to be like, 'You chose boring dusty rose?'"
Like Libra and Taurus, a Cancer loves to see her mom taking care of herself and being bold in the world. "The Cancer needs to see that their mom is social and going out and doing things and having a life," says Gat. Cancer can be very nostalgic, but their mom often helps to pull them out of their sad, dwelling slump and get them looking forward to the future. Gat says that "one of the stereotypes about Cancer is that they're super close to their mom, but that isn't always true." Cancers' moms can be intimidating to them, and their moms have to go out of their way to make sure their Cancer child doesn't hide their feelings from them.
"A Scorpio's mom is kind of weird, obviously, because Scorpios are weird," says Gat. Their mother is usually extremely eccentric, which some Scorpios will pretend to be embarrassed about in public, but in private they love that quality of their mothers. Their moms may not be ones to do things by the book, but luckily, neither are Scorpios. When together, the two can create a fun atmosphere where both can feel comfortable being their true wacky selves together. Though that's certain to draw some strange looks when they're in public, they don't really care. In fact, they feed off each other's weird energy.
The Cancer needs to see that their mom is social and going out and doing things and having a life.
Similar to Gemini, a Pisces needs to have a mom that she can talk to. "They like having a smart mom," says Gat. They like knowing they can call their mom with any question and she'll have the right answer. Although, that communication can become a bit much. A Pisces mom is the type to text their kid far too much and too frequently. Pisces people love their moms, but they don't want to talk to them at 11 PM on a Friday night. Pisces may often have to their mom to back off and chill out. Unfortunately for them, their mothers aren't too receptive to that message.