Justin Trudeau

Justin Trudeau Had His Most Justin Trudeau Week Ever

What’s that guy going to get into next?!
August 25, 2017, 8:52pm
Art by Noel Ransome 

Wowee. Is it really the end of August already? Wild. Time flies when you are having fun. Or, in this case, when you are Canada's fun loving and infectiously photogenic prime minister, Justin Trudeau!

He's had quite a busy summer this year, what with photobombing all those weddings in his kayak and trying to keep The Donald from blowing up the North American Free Trade Agreement. But this week might top it all. He's been marching with his friends in pride parades, coaching cabinet ministers on how to punch people in the face, turned into a not-at-all nightmarish butter sculpture, and discovered that he'll be honoured at a big gala in New York next month!

Advertisement

Wow! What a week. Let's take a closer look at what our maple syrup dream daddy has been up to.

LUCKY LEO VISITS JUSTIN IN MONTREAL FOR PRIDE

Justin Trudeau and Irish prime minister Leo Varadkar really are two peas in a pod. They've both got a penchant for rocking some sickeningly fun socks and for putting a thin progressive sheen over the otherwise brutalizing machinery of late capitalism. So it's no surprise that less than two months after JT's stopover in Dublin, that Leo is returning the favour by popping into Justin's Montreal hometown last Sunday just in time for the Pride Parade. Even though Varadkar is Ireland's first openly gay Taoiseach, there's little doubt in my mind that he could learn a thing or two from our forward-thinking PM.

Topping everything off with a progressive hat trick, Trudeau also didn't mince words when he called out the "angry, frustrated group of racists" who got stuck in a Quebec City parking garage for several hours that same day before taking some time later that week to explain how a tweet he sent last January explicitly saying that Canadians will welcome all refugees did not actually mean that.

I hope you're taking notes, Mr. President! Flashy distraction and mealy-mouthed equivocation: that's how a real leader does it. bicep emoji.

A REAL KNOCKOUT

The prime minister is probably best known for the time he deliberately beat up a First Nations Senator in order to create a powerful visual metaphor for his own political mythology. So it's no surprise that Trudeau was on hand to dole out some gems of pugilistic wisdom for 12 Rounds of Hope, a charity boxing match in Montreal on Wednesday. On the roster were a number of Canadian political celebrities, like federal Heritage Minister Melanie Joly and the Quebec environment minister and some mayors or something. All the money raised went to programs encouraging kids not to drop out of school. How nice!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT THE PRIME MINISTER

Ah, butter, the yellow gold from cows that makes your heart explode. It''s the crown jewel of Canada's byzantine system of agricultural supply management so it is only fitting that a giant greasy chunk of it was carved into the image of the prime minister hugging two pandas.

Advertisement

Totes adorbz! The Trudeau piece was part of a broader exhibit at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto called "Wild in the 6," which also featured butter sculptures of other locally famous animals like the Ikea Monkey and the doughnut-stealing raccoon. Also, if they don't turn a big lump of dairy into a graven image of Stephen Harper coddling that kitten, I'm going to call the police and file a human rights complaint.

MR. POPULARITY

Trudeau's not just popular at home. The world has caught onto the very good thing we have in our prime minister, and it'd be very un-Canadian if we didn't share all this hotness with the rest of the world! News broke this week that Justin is slated to be honoured in New York City at the Atlantic Council Global Citizen Awards. It's a very prestigious award that is will recognize Trudeau for his "visionary leadership, support for open trade and borders, and respect for universal freedom and diversity."

Wow! Talk about huge. It'll be a big day when Canada's prime minister joins the illustrious ranks of past honorees like criminally negligent IMF Manager Christine Lagarde and former US Secretary of State/war criminal Henry Kissinger. It's no Nobel Peace Prize, but watch out Barack Obama: it's only a matter of time before JT does something as sweeping and terrible as establishing a worldwide network of extrajudicial drone assassinations such that he too is handed the world's most prestigious humanitarian award. Ay caramba! Muy picante.

And that's a wrap folks. What will the prime minister get up to next? Who knows?

Follow Drew Brown on Twitter.