Some presents say “I care,” while secretly reading, I get you. Chiefly: coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Who has been given a bag of beans—shitty or swanky—that hasn’t at least proven useful?
This is an addiction we are fully cool with enabling for our significant others this Valentine's Day. At the risk of sounding like a Pinterest quote, what better way is there to say ILYSM (but in like, a chill way) than giving someone a delicious, legal stimulant that will put morning sunshine in their veins? Whether you’re looking for a partner, a roommate, or a frenemy; a parent, a fuckboy/gal, or yourself; the bounty of this V-Day coffee gift guide is perfectly applicable for Horny Hearts Day 2022, and every other day of this already long year.
Behold: a bunch of beautiful accessories for prepping, drinking, and venerating them beans. [Opens trench coat.] We’ve got grinders, golden gadgets, and clever cups; we’ve got the coffee maker all the Cool Kids are using, and the one you would have loved back in 2012 as you listened to Beach House and scrubbed your first French press. We’re not going to talk beans today; if you’re here, in this rather specific V-Day gift guide, you probably Know Your Beans. Instead, we’re rolling out the brown (sorry) carpet for all the big, small, and slightly overkill ways to shake up the simple but profound joy of something we missed so (so) much in early quar: a really good cup of coffee.
A coffee pot for the mellow Memphis Design lover
It’s not too big, and not too smol. This coffee pot makes our mornings feel a little more cultured (but in a, like, no-pressure way). Designed by George Snowden, one of the OG Memphis Design dudes, it has all the elements of playful but forward design (right?) and the ability to pull off a yellow and brown outfit. Plus: it actually works well. “Sowden’s Coffee Pot is composed of a porcelain exterior with innovative SoftBrew™ brewing device,” says the description, “It infuses coffee through a centrally located micro-thin stainless steel filter to enhance the flavor.”
The jet pack of coffee makers
If you or your giftee have been in the coffee scene for a minute, you know the AeroPress. This is the epitome of high-low maintenance coffee-making; high because you have something called an “AeroPress,” and low because it’s a super fast way to make espresso or coffee. It steeps your grinds for about ten seconds, then forces them through a filter by the pressing of a gentle plunger. Big Go-Go Gadget energy.
A thoughtful present
You’re not making V-Day a big thing, but you’re making it a nice thing. This scoopy bag clip is the primo way of saying, “I’m thinking about you, but I’m not thinking about you. But I am. IDK. Here’s a spoon. But it’s also a clip, because I’m obsessed with you.”
The grinder to end all grinders
The Baratza is a professional-grade grinder—a BIG daddy. Like, they actually use it in your favorite coffee shop, which is both reassuring and a juicy humble-brag to your giftee (who already knows this, prolly). It will grind your beans with unfailing smoothness, regardless of how much you’re grinding, what you’re grinding it for, and is also a *drumroll* service-based product, meaning the Baratza peeps offer parts and tech support that will make you feel truly loved. It is your new life partner.
A cup for someone who won’t stop talking about their old bodega
Every bodega is the best bodega, but their bodega “had loosies and the best baconeggncheese.” There are so many ways to say “I love New York,” and one of the least obnoxious we’ve seen yet is this lil guy, which immortalizes the city’s takeout cup by paying it sweet, ceramic homage. Yeah, it reads novelty. Maybe a little kitsch. But that’s also NYC, and we love it. Close your eyes, take a sip, and you can practically hear the winter heater pipes banging from your lover’s 2016 railroad apartment.
For the sheer joy of owning a “Gooseneck” appliance
A gooseneck kettle gives anyone the power of a controlled, elegant pour (hence, why it’s perf for pour-over coffee). Of course Blue Bottle collaborated with Stagg on the classic, and made a limited edition, sturdy but delicate kettle. No straining of your delicate little bird bone wrists here.
A to-go mug that’s definitely moonlighting as a monolith
It will be really fun to try and watch your SO try and use this as a speaker. Alas, this isn’t Beats by Kubrick, but a temp-controlled to-go mug with a stylish, matte black finish that keeps your drinks warm for ages (or at least over an hour). No matter how hard we try, we will never be able to pull off the levels of enigmatic nonchalance as this thing. We’re a little bit aroused.
Novelty socks for the person who only deserves novelty socks
We all have one (or ten) of those people in our lives who we just can't shake but we also can't bring ourselves to splurge on. (No shade, we love you.) These socks celebrate one of our most cherished, Cuban-inspired coffees (IYKYK), and you've gotta love the commitment of the sellers, who have apparently spared no expense. Not only are these socks socks, but they are “printed to allow ink to penetrate the yarn, so [the] socks look great even when stretched.”
The next-level French press trying to replace your SO
“FRIENDS FOR LIFE,” reads the description. Which, honestly, is not surprising given how much this to-go cup does for you. It French presses your coffee with two super tight mesh filters (for no gunky grounds), is temp-controlled, and is even pretty straightforward to clean. It is also, in the words of one reviewer, one of the best ways to make simple ol' coffee: “[It is not] creating the kind of pressure that an Aeropress does, so again, this is a COFFEE press, not the near espresso/coffee that an Aeropress creates.” THANK YOU. WE’RE DOWN.
A manual grinder that’s also a low-key Transformer
The extra-long arm (arm?) of this manual grinder makes it easier to use, and folds down onto its side for tighter storage both at home and on camping trips. There’s many a manual grinder floating around the web, each declaring that it grinds more evenly, and attracts fewer bears or whatever. But only this one looks so silky.
The pour-over kit that’s also a gift for yourself
We love a present that’s also a hint. In this case: I will be staying for breakfast the next day. (Or at least for coffee.) For just over 100 doll-hairs, this kit gives you the whole pour-over shebang. We love the speckled egg aesthetic, as well as the fact that it’s ceramic (and will retain heat better and more evenly than glass).
Too much caffeine? Don’t worry—we have a solution.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.