Retired dentist Charles Eugster recently broke the record in the over-95 division of the 200m at the British Masters Championship. Eugster finished the race in 55.48, besting the previous record set in 2013 by 2.4 seconds. To put it in context, Usain Bolt holds the world record at 19.19, which is much, much faster. But Usain Bolt is not a 95-year-old retired dentist who just took up competitive racing last year. Do you know who is? You're goddamned right, Charles Eugster.
It may have been "an economy of effort" but Eugster is literally (well not literally literally) the old dog who learned a new trick. "It proves you can set challenges and goals at any age and achieve them," he said after the race. That is as truthful and inspiring a statement as you will read. Especially when you consider most of us will be dead long before we get to 95, and even if some of us do make it to 95, we'll need help not pissing ourselves. So running 200 meters in less than a minute seems like a long shot but, hey, it could happen.
So, how does a 95-year-old celebrate a record-breaking performance? According to his coach (he has a coach, guys), "He celebrated by having a sleep. It was a fantastic achievement."