Tidbits: The Movie

Having exhausted every book, TV show, play, video game and theme park ride, Hollywood execs have taken the surprising move of turning to inanimate objects for inspiration. After news that a film based on the View-Master , (aka those red binoculars you used to watch slides of waterfalls through), was in production, we've now been threatened with the news that a Magic 8 Ball movie has been greenlit. Sounds tense. Delving into the Tidbits library, we've done Hollywood's job for it and fashioned some awesome blockbuster concepts.

Superplug

What it is: A piece of hardware that converts your car's cigarette lighter in a hub for all of your electrical appliances

Plotline: A freak electrical storm strands a road-tripping family in the middle of the desert while simultaneously causing an unprecedented mutation between their car's cigarette lighter and a six-socket extension lead. Superplug is born. Shady Government officials soon spot an abnormal power surge and want Superplug to head up the war on Islam, but all he wants is a normal life. Superplug 2 could introduce a whole new range of exciting characters: Super Hair-Straighteners, Super Electric Shaver, Super Laptop Charger and so on.

Tagline: Socket to them!

Killer Ring

What it is: An engagement ring that boasts a razor-sharp diamond point which means it can cut the skin of foes down to the bone.

Plotline: When serial bridesmaid Carrie meets Rick, things finally seem to be falling into place and after a whirlwind two-minute montage, she says yes to his proposal of marriage. But, as Carrie's wedding plans become more and more unhinged, (THREE ice sculptures, etc), Rick calls it off. Crafting her ring into Killer Ring, she goes on a bloody rampage to make sure her wedding goes ahead.

Tagline: If the cake is too expensive, she'll cut down their price. Right down.

Chinese Colonel Sanders

What it is: The Chinese impression of the king of fried chicken.

Plotline: A U571-style reinvention of history that tells the story of how KFC originated but, for no real reason at all, shifts all of the events to China. Mr. Li-Sanders grows up in Hong Kong and against the better wishes of his parents, who push him towards Cantonese cuisine, he starts his own fried chicken company. As business booms, the jealous scheming bastards at Chinese Chicken Cottage, turn Li-Sanders' life upside down in an attempt to learn his secret: His chicken recipe, scrawled into an ancient scroll and secured inside a mystical temple.

Tagline: Finger ricking chicken!

Rape Deterrent

What it is: A vial of liquid sold as rape prevention.

Plotline: Feisty pharmacy student Elizabeth is sick of guys staring at her chest, rather than respecting her vast pharmaceutical knowledge, so she creates a liquid that makes girls completely unrapeable. Soon, the campus has cut sexual attacks by 100% but without the threat of assault looming over them, a race of female lizard aliens soon invade and take control of the university. Elizabeth must find an antidote quick, before the planet itself is threatened.

Tagline: Sometimes, fighting back is a bad idea…

BENJAMIN LEE