VICE Weekends Begin

Every goober with a Google analytics account will tell you that people don't look at the internet on the weekends. To which I say: bullshit. People might not be reading every Game of Thrones  fan blog or camping out on Fab to buy some bullshit ring made out of bronzed cat teeth, but everyone IS looking at their phone constantly. Sure, they're texting friends, tweeting, and commenting on other people's food photos, but everyone is on the fucking internet all the time in some capacity. At this point it’s our informational umbilical cord, and if that fucker gets severed, even for five minutes, we’re all going to die of boredom.

Before we became adults with bills to pay, spending our weekend on beaches, and reading trashy novels and gossip mags, summers were fucking precious and dramatic. As a teen you had a two-and-a-half month window to break shit, fight, fuck, grind, chain smoke, and waste time. On the muggiest weekends it was fun to hide out in the air conditioning and watch MTV, Faces of Death, or Baywatch Nights. (And, if you’re reading this and still young enough to get away with this type of shit, cherish it.)

It's not the 80s, 90s, or early 2000s. It’s the goddamn 10s, which sounds weird but also awesome. We all have whatever we want, when we want it, on land or at sea. We can watch YouTube clips poolside or read Fifty Shades of Grey on some awkward tablet.

Despite VICE.com forgoing weekend blog posts for a trillion years, the powers that be (i.e., God—he told us he needed something new to do on the weekend) have given us the greenlight to start updating this fucker on Saturdays and Sundays. Today more than ever there are more boring assholes to make fun of, weirder fashion, terrible television shows, and most fake celebrities, so it’s prime time to cover all of it.

So post up near a body of water and browse our new mobile site with all-new weekend content. And call your mom every once in a while, asshole. She misses you.

You’re welcome,
Anthony Pappalardo, Weekend Editor

@anthonypops