Male chastity is that thing where you lock your penis in a specially designed cage that prevents you from getting full erections or using your penis for sex. While locked up, you can't masturbate or orgasm, and the cage can only be removed by your designated "keyholder." While the thought of this makes most men cringe, it makes others whimper with excitement. Being caged can be extremely exciting and fulfilling. Some people say orgasm denial increases your sex drive and improves your focus. It also obviously heightens the stakes of a dom/sub relationship, with a master or mistress able to punish their sub by denying them not just sex but the ability to orgasm.
Obviously, this is not a casual kink. Not only does it change the life of the caged, it places a lot of responsibility in the hands of the keyholder. While slight discomfort is common for those who put their penises in cages (duh), in more serious cases a faulty or poorly set-up cage can cause serious injury, and if that happens, a keyholder needs to be able to remove the device right away.
To learn more about what drives the people involved in this fetish, we spoke to three men about their experiences with chastity and any advice they had for those itching to try it. Two of the men are gay, and one is bisexual, though that doesn't mean that straight men aren't into these cages—it just means all of the hetero guys we approached for this piece declined to talk out of embarrassment or nervousness. All names have been changed.
Travis, 29, Gay
What do you like most about it?
It's the "not getting off" part I like the most. It's like you're giving up something. I'm into someone having a certain level of control over me. Someone saying "wear this shirt" or "wear this underwear," that stuff gets me excited. Chastity is an extension of that. I'm giving this up to someone. I'm letting them decide. I remember back in high school getting high-top chucks because it was a really low-level form of bondage you could wear every day because it restricted your ankle. For me, it's a lot of the wearing something sexy and people not knowing.
What surprised you the most about wearing a cage?
It's a lot of work. When you read a story or watch a porn, it's sexy the whole time, but you have to clean it every day, you have to make sure you're trimmed so it doesn't pinch your hair, you have be sure you're cautious when using a restroom… I remember one time I used a public bathroom and ended up getting pee everywhere. I was standing and hadn't realized that you have to sit down to go when you're locked up. I was a hot mess… it was all over my pants, my coat, everything.
What were the benefits?
I've often had a lower sex drive than the partners that I'm with, so I've found it actually gets me going a little more. I know especially in grad school I would often just jack off to get it out of the way, so locking up makes everything a little more fun and out of reach. The cage makes my subby side come out, and you really just wanna latch on and have some good snuggles that night.
Jerry, 27, GayVICE: What was your first interaction with chastity?
What drew you to the fetish in the first place?
I'm definitely into sensory play in a lot of kinky ways. With chastity, there's a feeling of enclosure, every part or your cock is completely encased, enclosed. It reinforces my kinky headspace that I am inferior, a faggot, someone who does not deserve to be allowed to get off, who needs to be put in their place. For me, that's what I truly wanted, that's my sexual fantasy. Chastity provides that because you cannot engage in active penetrative sex. Which is tremendously exciting for me, being impotent in that regard. There's certainly a feminization aspect to it as well that I really like. I like that you can't stand up and use a urinal. You're kinda smashing the hetero-patriarchy a little bit. When I'm in a bathroom and have to pee sitting down because of my cage, it's like saying, "Just so all you men know, I'm not one of y'all," which I like. In my real life, I'm fairly ambitious and conversational, outgoing. Because of that I have an inverse side as well. That inverse side wants to contain myself and keep my myself subservient.
How does chastity play into a dom/sub relationship for you?
It's important for me that bondage remain really serious and very functional and utilitarian. Chastity fulfills those requirements for me. It's extremely difficult to develop that level of trust with someone where I would allow them to be my keyholder. More often than not, I'm my own keyholder. If I'm going to give someone my key, I want them to completely control the situation and not give me the option of getting out. Subs often have to earn dignified totems or positions from their doms, like a collar or patch, but with chastity, the dom has to earn the responsibility of holding my key. What they don't tell you is that if you try hard enough, you can get out of any of the devices by yourself.
Kevin, 26, BiVICE: How long have you been into chastity?
How did you get into it?
I started with a CB6K, and I wore it to a birthday party. I wore it for a few hours that night. After the party, I put it on someone else and operated in a keyholder capacity for a month. I haven't worn the CB6K for more than a few hours at a time. I find that my skin kind of muffin-tops out of the holes, and I get blisters from rubbing against my underwear. I also got so hard once that it split down the center seam, and then pinched shut. It left me with a nasty blood blister and I haven't worn it since.
What other models have you used?
I tried using the all-silicone Bon4 brand. It fits better, but I have different problems with it. Namely that I can't keep it properly lubricated, and after about an hour it feels like someone has wrapped my cock in duct tape and is trying to rip it off.
I got a relatively cheap metal cage from Purple Passion in the city, that looks like a set of rings welded together. I've been able to wear it for days on end without any irritation or complaint. It can be heavy, though, so I use a small, thin length of nylon rope to make a sort of belt to take off the weight.
Whats the longest you've been locked up?
The longest I've gone was four days, which seems to be a short duration compared to other guys I know. I don't have a keyholder or regular play partners, so it's all self-imposed when I am locked up. My advice to people who are interested in it would be to see if a friend has a cage you can borrow, because they're not cheap. Wear it for a few days, and get someone to act as a keyholder. For many of the cages, you should take it off at least once a week for cleaning and to check your junk for any cuts, abrasions, or rashes and so on.