Breakups suck, and they're not something only people in sexual relationships experience. Remember that one season of Entourage where E went rogue and tried managing clients other than his BFF Vinny Chase? That type of stuff happens to everyone at some point, though the average friendship rift typically doesn't involve famous people (or flagrant use of the word "bro"), even if the fall-out is equally melodramatic or mundane.
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Shit happens, people get older, and friendship bracelets eventually tear. Even if the specs are petty, the way we feel after these platonic breakups go down is legitimately painful and can haunt us for years. Sometimes we learn stuff from the experiences and move on, other times we don't. Below are a series of anecdotes that detail the messy entrails left after particularly brutal best friend breakups.I had a best friend from age four to 15, and we stopped being friends because I found out that she had been fucking our friend's dad for about two years. He was over 50 and they started fucking when she was 12 or 13. And the guy was gross! He worked in a pen factory and smoked about 40 cigarettes a day—plus he had rotting teeth, dressed like it was 1982, and I'm pretty sure he had a mullet. He was a creep. My best friend would sneak off to meet this guy all the time, but she told me she'd met someone on the internet and would brag about how much butt sex they would have in the back of his car.The way I found out that the real guy she was fucking was our friend's dad and not some random AOL chat dude was that she told our friend who happened to be dating the guy's son. All very Jerry Springer. At the time, I was working at a shitty hotel. I left work and the dad-pedo was waiting outside for me and asked to give me a lift home. He then proceeded to tell me that they weren't having sex—they were just friends. Obviously, that was a crock of shit.
She Fucked Our Friend's Dad
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Next thing I knew, the guy's wife found out and threatened to kill him. Most of the town found out and I think he lost his job. His wife eventually divorced him. Everyone sort of turned on me because, as her best friend, they all thought I knew. It was pretty horrible.Our relationship officially ended with her writing me a note saying that she didn't want to be friends anymore. I was devastated. She was like my sister. When I received her note, I went to her house and ripped the letter up in front of her and called her a slag! She said nothing. After that, I saw her a few times in the street, but she wouldn't even look at me. In retrospect, I should have called the police on that creep she was seeing. Fucking pedo. — LThe friendship ended the night of the Tony Awards a few years ago when Audra McDonald received her record-breaking sixth award. We'd known each other for a few years and were very close. He had a boyfriend who was super nice, and just the three of us watched the show. They demanded silence during the actual show, but we could talk during the commercials. They were theater gays.The one I was closer with was an optimist about everything—each performance was "amazing," there were lots of fake-ass tears of joy, etc. I would make comments throughout the awards shows that were less "omg what beauty" and more "all these people are white."After Audra had her big win, we got into an argument. My friend and his boyfriend said I was too critical, especially about calling out racial differences during the award show. They were mad that I had made comments about the racial stereotypes in the event's musical performances, the lack of people of color overall, and how even though McDonald was winning such a big award, it didn't lessen the fact that there was still a giant lack of people of color and all these fucked-up stereotypes. They just wanted to sit there and escape in a world of theater. I think they've had tough lives being gay, so me being there and talking shit about racialized performances during their escape time didn't go over so well.
White Privilege and the Tony's
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What really killed me was when the boyfriend said to me, "You speak about race like my parents." They are from the south and were so uncomfortable talking about racism that when I was speaking against it, they actually compared me to their fucking racist parents. They wanted to be racially unaware or "post-racial." Two fucking white homonormative theater gays were calling me racist for calling out shit about the Tonys. I was so mad I started going off. We'd had a whole punch bowl of drink. It wasn't cute. We argued about my comments, but then it got much bigger.I ran out of their apartment about 20 minutes later, but forgot my bag, so I had to go back inside. The whole thing was so awkward. I grabbed my bag, and I remember standing outside their door. I was like, 'So see you soon?' And they replied, 'Sure…' We've never spoken since. — S
The Friend Who Lived a Double Life
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When we got back from studying abroad, he sent an email breaking up with our friend group, myself included, basically saying that everything we knew about him and our three-year friendship was a lie and that he never wanted us to contact him again. Here's an excerpt from an email he sent our five-person crew. The subject line was "Please don't respond."There is something you all need to know. When we were together in Paris, you got to know a fake version of me. It's not like there was something underneath it all, though. Really, I have just lived most of my life as a liar. I stopped talking to you because I wanted to distance myself from that. Nobody should live like this. It's not right. Read the email, be disgusted by its verbosity, and forget me. You never knew me anyway.I never really saw him again, but I did some research and found out he lives with his foreign girlfriend in the Midwest. I know this because he got arrested protesting with the Black Lives Matter movement last year and I saw his mug shot. — KIn college I became best friends really quickly with my roommate, but she was an Evangelical Christian and I was an atheist. We tried to find similarities anyway and were inseparable for a while.
One day, I was really depressed and she came home and hugged me. I started crying and she said she'd pray for me. I couldn't handle it and I blew up at her, saying she was too smart to believe "this shit" (my exact words).She turned me into our dorm's RA the next week for a bottle of wine I had at our place. I didn't see her again until her wedding, and even then it was beyond repair. We both cried a lot when we saw each other, but the damage was done. — R
The Atheist vs. the Evangelical Christian
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The Roommate from Hell
I didn't see her again until her wedding, and even then it was beyond repair.
The Disappearing Act
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