Recently I asked a bunch of girls and a guy to describe the first time they touched a penis. Most of the stories were deeply awkward, and in more than a few cases, mildly forced.
After hearing these tales of semi-horror, I wondered whether that first touch was different for guys. Presumably males don't walk away from a first vagina experience feeling insecure and dirty. So I asked a bunch of guys, and one woman, what it was like to touch a vagina for the first time. And, yes, the responses had a different tone.
I remember meeting up at "Dingle Dell Reserve." If you don't believe that's a real place, google it. Sure enough we found a nice hidden spot. Real Notebook style. One thing led to another and we ended up hands in pants. We had both shaved so it was nice knowing she'd taken the same amount of care I had.
It was only a year ago but I didn't realise was how wet a vagina can be. I'd watched a lot of porn and I thought I had it all under control, but when I realised there was more moisture down there than anything my nervous sweaty palm could produce, I freaked and thought she'd peed her pants. I desperately wanted to act cool and pretended I knew exactly what I was doing but I couldn't even insert a finger—I just wasn't expecting her to be that tight.
I decided just to give it a gentle rub, but meanwhile she was pulling my dick harder than a cork out of a wine bottle. My palms were extremely sweaty and I definitely thought we should've talked about it first. I was shitting myself emotionally. I didn't want to seem rough but at the same time I didn't want to be useless. The whole thing was just terrifying.
I was 17 and a tad drunk at a house party. I met a girl there but I was incredibly frigid at the time. I wouldn't even kiss her in front of my friends so we decided to take a walk, which felt like it went forever. We ended up at the back of shops, far enough away from the road but close enough for the street lights, so it wasn't completely dark.
We were making out a lot and I started to slide my hand up her skirt. I felt really nervous and I remember thinking I need to do this. Everyone else was doing it, so I did what I thought fingering was—I just stuck a finger in. Looking back at it now I didn't realise that anything needed to be fondled so I just put it straight in. I'd seen porn and from that I gathered slowly wasn't a credential. So she told me to be gentle and it became all wet. I remember at one point she was angled in a way that I caught a glimpse of her vagina, and that just got me scared; it was the moment I realised what I was doing. I kept it cool but, on the inside, I was a scared little boy.
My girlfriend at the time and I decided to book a hotel for my 18th birthday. We didn't have the freedom to be together anywhere that wasn't the back of my car and we put a high value on making the first night nice and private. I didn't know what to expect, like I'd watched porn and got some advice from friends, but I knew she wouldn't know any more than I did, so it was just a matter of not overthinking it.
When we got to the hotel it wasn't like some movie scene where we burst through the door and started going at. It was planned and we sat down and chatted for a while beforehand. When it finally happened I didn't know what to expect, but it was definitely wasn't what I expected. I was ready for smooth, simple symmetrical walls and just kind of like a hole, I was shocked to realise how detailed and oddly shaped it was inside. But I was just trying to pay attention to what was working for her. We fell asleep straight afterwards and only discussed what happened later over text.
It took me years to fully "take the plunge." Like I'd get my hand down there and kind of freak out and backtrack because I was struggling with my sexuality a lot. I was really scared of vaginas for a long time. My first full-on vagina experience was in a threesome situation with two friends. I had zero interest in the guy, so I kind of pretended he wasn't there and discovered the vagina to be the best thing ever. I would've just turned 20.
My mind was blown. It was like a mixture of fear and somehow knowing what to do. Also, I realised just how different everyone's vaginas are. I kind of hoped it might be the same as mine, but everyone likes different things. All in all, I found another vagina very mysterious.
It was kind of recent, like, a few months ago. I had a friend come over to my house late one night. We decided to watch Game of Thrones, which obviously has a few sex scenes that got us all aroused. I'd seen porn and sort of knew the basic layout of a vagina, but I never really understood what turned a girl on and what her pleasure points were. I slid my hands down there and the first thing I realised was how wet the whole area actually was. At first, it was a little off-putting. I thought did she just pee herself? Also I noticed how low the hole was but I was very afraid to actually put my fingers inside. It was way more squishy and slimy than I expected.
The whole thing was a very awkward and messy experience and I felt like I was stabbing her with my fingers. But she was very nice about the whole thing. I kept asking questions like is this right, does that feel good?
I didn't know what I was doing—the clitoris wasn't a known factor. It was her first time doing anything sexual as well so I was also wondering what would it be like to have someone shove their hand down there? Personally, having someone touch my dick for the first time made me feel so uncomfortable.
I was 15 and at a house party. I'd just told a friend that I wanted something to happen with a girl from school, then, when she walked in, I thought why not? So I tried out my smoothest, 15-year-old pick up line and offered her some booze in exchange for a kiss. To my surprise it worked and we ended up fooling around in a bedroom. There was no lock on the door and people kept walking in so I asked my friend to be a bodyguard, which didn't work either. We ended up in a closet.
When I actually got in her pants I was shocked at how low the hole was. All that was going through my head was go far, but not too far. Obviously I had watched porn, chatted to friends, and I swear even watching American Pie helped. But she was pretty experienced and she kind of helped me through the whole thing. I didn't realise that essentially the whole party was outside the closet. Everyone at school on Monday knew what we'd done. Still, years later, people who weren't even there bring it up.
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Illustrations by Michael Dockery.