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​Those Creepy Fucking Clowns Are Invading Canada En Masse

And it's not just a publicity stunt for a reboot of Stephen King's 'It.'

by Jake Kivanc
Oct 6 2016, 6:45pm

In case you've been under a rock the last week (probably the only place safe from killer clowns TBH), the internet has been ablaze with the phenomenon of civilians being terrorised by strangers dressed as murder-esque clowns. For the most part, these "clown sightings" have been limited to the US, but that's all changed, because they've now started to appear in Canada.

In something I'll file under "reasons to go leave Earth," numerous outlets, including CBC and City News, have reported incidents of clown sightings in everyone from Cape Breton to Toronto. This comes only after an endless number of reports on social media, from Texas to Washington state, showing videos and photos of clowns stalking people with bundles of balloons and sometimes even weapons.

As expected of, y'know, clowns (things meant to make you laugh but are really just horrifying), people's' reactions to the trend have ranged from laughter to genuine terror (real clowns are also pretty pissed off).

Unfortunately for all of us, however, Canadian police don't really seem to care too much.

"It is not illegal to dress up in a clown costume ... It's the actions that the person does or takes while dressed up in any costume that will lead to them possibly being charged if it is an infraction against the criminal code," Toronto Police's Const. Jennifer Sidhu, told City News.

"We are aware of the incidents in the States, but as of now there is nothing on file of killer clowns in the city."

Please note how she said "killer clowns" and not just "clowns." You can officially begin to panic.

Like the US, Canadian police departments can't find anything criminal going on with most of these incidents. This is likely due to the number of clown prank videos that have populated the internet for the last few years, which feature people dressed up as clowns, committing fake murders and pursuing strangers in the middle of empty, nighttime streets with weapons in hand.

Like most social media trends where people are assholes in public, the issue of clown sightings is probably not going to be taken very seriously until someone, y'know, grabs a kid or something. (Oh wait, that already happened—IN NOVA SCOTIA OF ALL FUCKING PLACES).

ENJOY YOUR HALLOWEEN, FOLKS!

Screenshot via YouTube

Follow Jake Kivanc on Twitter, just don't send clowns to his house.